Page 97 of Forget Me Not

His gaze dropped to the ground as they continued their trek out of the churchyard. “I was all but certain they wouldn’t.”

Julia wrapped her arm around his, hoping to both give and receive comfort. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t take away what hope you had.”

She leaned her head against his arm. “I sometimes wonder what life would be like if they were all still with us, our siblings and my mother.”

“For one thing, Stanley would have beaten me to a pulp this last week for having caused you so much unhappiness.”

How easily she could picture her protective older brother doing precisely that. “Stanley liked me.”

“He had exceptional taste.”

Julia sighed dramatically. “He ate a worrying amount of black pudding. I do think that calls his taste into question.”

“He always chose the best places for the Gents to explore,” Lucas said. “He read about Portugal while we were at Eton. He spoke of going there for years.”

Portugal. The trip she’d heard him planning a few times. “Did he ever get to go?”

Lucas sighed. “He didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he is the reason you are so eager to go there?”

“He isn’t the entire reason,” Lucas said. “I also genuinely want to see that country. And traveling with the Gents is a delight no matter where we go. They are family to me. We’ve forged bonds in suffering and heartache but have strengthened those connections in times of happiness. Other than Kes, I’ve not spent any unbroken time with any of them in over a year. Making our long-overdue trip to Portugal would help reconnect us. We need that after being apart for so long.”

He’d not told her this before. “Absence can strain relationships.”

“It has strained ours, hasn’t it?”

Eight years of absence had done more than “strain” their relationship. But it was his broken promises that had dealt the felling blow. He’d promised to hold her whenever she needed him to but hadn’t inquired as to that need before deciding to be gone for months. He’d vowed to not leave without telling her but had finalized these plans without even a brief mention of them to her.

“Do you know what I found most unsettling in the duke and duchess’s tense discussion of her travels?” she asked.

Lucas watched her, a look of wariness in his eyes.

“The duke’s anguish was so horribly familiar. She was leaving again, and he’d had no idea, quite as if he didn’t matter to her at all.” The ache in her chest tightened and twisted. “I heard little Lord Falstone ask his nursemaid why it was his mother didn’t want to spend time with him. I’ve wondered that same thing about you for years.”

“I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?” He didn’t look at her, but she could still see the worry in his expression.

“I don’t know, Lucas. I don’t know how to trust you. You’ve broken so many promises to me.”

He stopped and turned to face her. He took her hand and raised it to his lips. “I’ll find a way to prove myself worthy of your trust and faith. I swear to you. Somehow, I’ll find a way.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

A packet arrived two dayslater, addressed to Lucas. The messenger identified its origin as Digby’s home.

Lucas took the twine-tied packet with him as he made his daily walk to Farland Meadows. Julia had been allowing him to call, and their visits had been pleasant. But they needed something less formal and rigid if they were to recapture what they’d once had.

He had a plan; he simply hoped whatever Digby had sent didn’t toss everything into chaos. He opened one end of the packet as he walked. Another smaller packet and two folded missives lay inside. He pulled all three out.

Jonquil,

These are for Our Julia. Not you. Give them to her.

—D

What mischief did Digby have up his sleeve?

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