Page 34 of Snowdrops and Winterberry
“Neither was my father, but he still held them. He planned balls and gatherings and dinners because Mother liked them. Ladies like those things, I think.”
“You want to plan this one because Lady Jonquil would like it?”
Another quick nod. This time his brow pulled in a combination of embarrassment and uncertainty. He had all but perfected the unwaveringly confident mien that his father had so often exhibited, but Adam couldn’t hide the fact that, at his heart, he was still a little boy.
“Twelfth Night comes nearly twelve days after Christmas,” Robbie reminded him. “By the time we reach eleven days afterourChristmas celebration, you’ll nae be here any longer.” She’d given him the explanation so he’d understand the obstacle he faced. But speaking it aloud drove home just how shorthertime at Brier Hill was. She would be here less than a fortnight longer. Less than a fortnight to walk with Howard and talk with him.
Howard must’ve sensed her distress. He stepped up beside her and silently took her hand, as he’d done in the pony cart several days earlier.
“We did not celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day,” Adam said. “Can’t we have our Twelfth Night celebration whenever we want? It isn’t a real one, after all.”
Howard entered the conversation for the first time. “That is a delightful idea, Your Grace. And I think, as an added special gift to Lord and Lady Jonquil, the three of us could do the work planning it. Lady Jonquil has looked a bit tired of late, as soon-to-be mothers often do. A little extra rest would be good for her.”
Adam watched him with a mixture of uncertainty and distrust. Spending some time with Howard might help Adam overcome his worries about him. On the other hand, it might simply solidify his suspicions that Howard was taking her away.
“I think you’ve a good plan,” Robbie said, hoping she was encouraging the right approach. “Which aspects of the celebration ought we to include?”
Adam shrugged, a little of his enthusiasm having drained from him. “I don’t know very much about it. Father and I had cake on Twelfth Night, but nothing more than that.”
The old duke hadn’t been one for celebrations, except when he thought they might bring his wife home.
“Twelfth Night was quite a raucous time at my house growing up,” Howard said. “I can tell you all about it.”
All of a sudden, Adam’s posture turned unyielding andramrod straight. “You can tell Nurse Robbie, and she can tell me. I don’t needyouto tell me anything.” With that, he spun around, and rather than walk away with palpable dignity, he ran. Pooka ran after him.
“I hadn’t meant to upset the boy,” Howard said.
“I do nae think you did.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. With-out hesitation he slipped his arms around her and held her in a tender embrace. He’d held her many times since their rainy-afternoon encounter. The experience usually sent her heart fluttering and her mind spinning. This time it brought a sense of peace and calm.
“I think he realizes my time as his nursemaid is drawing to an end. He doesn’t know a great deal of the world, but he’s a bright boy. And while he does a fine job of appearing as if nothing bothers him or hurts or scares him, underneath that mask, he’s terrified.”
“And anything or anyone who contributes to his worries of losing you gets pushed away.”
“Aye.”
Howard bent his head enough to whisper into her ear, “He loves you, Robbie—it is not a difficult thing to do—but he feels torn.”
“I do as well,” she whispered.
He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I know.”
She lifted her chin to look into his deep, earth-colored eyes, so full of compassion and concern. “And do you also know that I love you?”
“I’ve had my suspicions, but it’s nice to hear it. Does my heart a whole heap of good.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you too. Amazing how quickly and fully that happened, i’n’ it?”
“Wonderfully amazing.”
Howard bent a bit more, enough to press his lips to hers. The kiss was delicate and faint and yet still heart-stopping. Shebrushed her fingers over the stubble on his jaw, reveling in the simple pleasure of being near enough to touch him.
“We may not have the answers just now, Robbie, but I’m a patient man. And I’m not easily discouraged. We’ll sort an answer. I know we will.”
Chapter Fifteen
Howard was in the midstof digging a hole for the rowan tree the next day when Adam and Lord Jonquil arrived there. He paused in his work and waited to hear what it was they needed. Adam was the first to offer an explanation.
“Lord Jonquil is going to help with our Twelfth Night party. I thought it best that he participate since he knows where everything is and he will know what Lady Jonquil would like to do.”
“Wise,” Howard said.
