Page 43 of Snowdrops and Winterberry
It seemed he was to have a governess whether he liked it or not. “And did you really ask Nurse Robbie if she would be a nursemaid for your little baby that will be at Brier Hill this year?”
“I did.”
“And did my mother really say I could come visit you here sometimes?”
“She did.”
He rubbed quickly at his eyes, trying to stop the burning he felt there. “And if Nurse Robbie was here, then I would see her when I visited.”
“Yes, you would.”
“But she wouldn’t get to see Mr. Simpkin?”
“He has to travel about to build his gardens. He couldn’t stay here with her.”
Adam dropped his gaze to his hands clasped on his lap. “She said she would be very sad when they weren’t together.”
“She loves him, Adam. Being away from a loved one makes a person sad.”
He blinked a few times. “Do you think my mother is sad? I’m away from her.”
“I think she is very sad.” Lady Jonquil’s arm wrapped around him, and she pulled him up beside her. “Your mother loves you,though she doesn’t quite seem to know how to show you.”
“She makes me go away to the boardinghouse, and she won’t come live at the castle, and she says I can’t live here with you, and she is making Nurse Robbie go away.” His throat hurt with the tears he held back. “All those things make me hurt in my heart. A person oughtn’t to make someone she loves hurt in his heart.”
“You’re right. And I wish I could make all of that hurt go away.”
He tucked his head against her, too nervous to look at her as he asked the question weighing heavily on his mind. “Do you love me?”
“I do, so very much. You are family to me, Adam. You always will be.”
That was some comfort, though his heart still hurt. “I wish, sometimes, that you were my mother.”
“Well, I can be an honorary mother to you. Lord Jonquil’s mother is like a mother to me.”
“Do you have to call her Lady Lampton?” That didn’t seem like a name for a mother.
“I call her Mother Jonquil,” she said. “And she calls me Julia.”
A surge of excitement pulled his head up. “I could call you Mother Julia.”
She squeezed his shoulders. “Oh, I would love that.”
He smiled almost without trying. “I would love that too.”
“And when I write you letters, I will address them to My Brave Adam because you are the bravest boy I have ever met.”
He didn’t feel very brave. Nurse Robbie wasn’t going to be his nursemaid any longer, and that frightened him. She had always been at the castle. She had always looked after him. When he hadn’t felt loved or welcome or wanted, she had promised him he was. When she wasn’t there, he wasn’t certain he would ever feel safe again. Especially if he wasn’t to live at Brier Hill withMother Julia and Lord Jonquil.
“I cannot call Lord Jonquil Lord Jonquil if you are Mother Julia.” Would that mean she wouldn’t let him? “What should I call him?”
“The next time you are with him, ask. I am certain the two of you will sort out something you both like.”
That was true. Lord Jonquil was very clever, and he had said Adam was as well. With that difficulty sorted, Adam’s mind turned back once more to the question he grappled with most.
“If Nurse Robbie works here, I would get to see her?”
“Yes. Every time you visited.”
