Page 46 of Snapdragons
He looked back at her. “Was I giving you that impression?” That he seemed surprised set her mind at ease.
“I like talking with you,” Niles said. “And I would wager I’m not the only one.”
“Most horses like talking with me.”
He returned his gaze to the pen. “Horses are very good judges of character.”
The young horse currently evaluatinghischaracter had come nearly all the way to the fence. That spoke well of him.
“If you marry a man who doesn’t agree to you keeping controlof Fairfield,” he said without looking back at her, “then you will have no ability to make your dreamed-of equine venture a reality.”
“And a man who won’t agree to my keeping Fairfield is unlikely to allow me to keep my horses or the money I have earned thus far breeding them.” She shrugged a little. “I would lose everything.”
“It is miserable, isn’t it?” He held his hand out the tiniest bit, palm up, toward the approaching filly. “Feeling like you have no control over your life and future?”
“Do you feel that way as well?” she asked.
“I haven’t had much true control over my future until quiterecently. But I’m not sure I know how to keep hold of that control.”
“’Tis also a miserable thing, that,” Penelope said, “feeling your hopes are at last within reach but you don’t know how to actually seize them.”
It was such a personal conversation, and seemingly out of nowhere. Here was an opportunity to know him better and he her. She didn’t dare waste it.
“What is the hope you are attempting to take hold of?” she asked.
His eyes returned to her face, and his features pulled in that wary expression she saw far too often on his face.
In a nearly strangled voice, she said, “Please don’t look at me that way, Niles.” Her misstep struck her immediately. “Mr. Greenberry.” What a mess she was making of this. “I have met so many Misters Greenberry in the last while that I’ve needed to think of you by your Christian name simply to keep everyone straight. I hadn’t ever meant to address you so informally.”
“There are an awful lot of Misters Greenberry,” he acknowledged. It was very gracious of him. “How was I looking at you that upset you?”
Niles was proving a remarkable gentleman. He’d not been offended by the inappropriate liberty she’d taken with his name. And he sounded legitimately interested in knowing what had upset her. All of this while knowing that she had been trying to convince him of a future she wanted without knowing if it was what he wanted. He deserved to be treated better than she had been treating him.
“I am not cruel.” She could not entirely ignore the pleading quality in her voice. “Not truly. And I’m not dishonest, at least not intentionally. I do try to be a decent person.” She released a breath.
“And I looked at you in the way one would a cruel, dishonest, not-decent person?”
“You look at me like you don’t trust me.”
He didn’t answer, but the hesitation in his eyes was answer enough.
Penelope pushed down a surge of misery. “I’ve been trying to snatch hold of some of those elusive hopes. But in doing so, I know I have made you uncomfortable.”
“I have been confused and uncertain but not truly uncomfortable.”
Her doubt could not possibly have remained hidden.
Niles, good-hearted person that he was, smiled again. “Perhapsa littleuncomfortable but not enough to justify your current level of self-castigation.”
“Your face has said otherwise.”
“I wouldn’t listen to it if I were you.” The absurdity in Niles’s brown-flecked blue eyes undercut his earnest tone.
“You don’t mind that I’m here?” she asked.
“When any of the stablehands have wandered anywhere nearby, this nervous filly has backed away. But she didn’t when you approached. She still hasn’t.” He glanced at the horse, which was within a breath of nudging his hand with her nose. “Thatsays something about you, Penelope Seymour.”
“I like animals,” she said.
