Page 7 of The Road to Cavan Town
Alice shook her head, both out of frustration and sadness. How could he not see what was so obvious? “If she loves ya enough to marry ya, Isaac, then none of those other men would matter in the least.”
He picked a pebble up off the road and skipped it over the rippling water. “Ya don’t understand.”
“What don’t I understand? I’m a woman, like ya said.”
He pulled his hat down more snug on his head. “A woman, aye, but not one who has men clamoring after her.”
The man might just as well have slapped her for all the sharp, immediate pain of that observation. No, she hadn’t hordes of men eating their hearts out over her. She hadn’t even one.
“Billy likes me, so I suppose that’s something.” She knew if Isaac pressed her about Billy she wouldn’t be able to lie to him, but admitting the only man who thought her special actually thought of her the way a child did a playmate would only humiliate her that much more. She rushed ahead, not wanting to give him a chance to ask questions. “I’m meaning to stop here a bit, spend some time at the lake before winter comes.”
When she stopped, so did Isaac. Thoughts flitted across his face. His mouth moved without sound. She set her gaze out over the water, grey with the clouds hovering above. She’d rather look at the scene in front of her than see rejection in the face of the man beside her.
“You can go on ahead,” she said.
“I can’t leave ya all by yerself.”
Ya already have.“I know my way, I assure ya.”
“But—”
“Ya have animals to see to. We’ve spoken of them all, I’ll remind ya.” Indeed, she knew the name of his horse, both his cows. She knew exactly how many chickens he had, how many pigs. She knew just what was planted in every acre of his farm, despite never having actually been there. Sophia Kilchrest likely didn’t know any of those things. Alice would wager Sophia didn’t care either.
“Ye’re certain ye’ll be fine here alone?”
Alice nodded.
Isaac hesitated. “But ye’d have to walk the rest of the way by yerself.”
She managed to smile at him, though her heart wasn’t in it. “I’ll be fine.”
“Then, I’ll see ya on Saturday I guess.”
Alice knew in that moment she couldn’t bear another walk like she’d just had. Listening to him speak at length about his plans with Miss Kilchrest, hearing him tick off a list of how ideal shewas would be torture. Even having to walk to Cavan alone would be better.
“Actually, I need to make the walk early this next weekend. But I know ya can’t leave sooner than ya always do, what with yer chores and all. So, ye’d best just make the walk and not wait about for me.”
“But we always walk in together.”
That he would miss her, at least a little, was only small comfort. Her company was not dear enough to him to push Miss Kilchrest from his mind and plans. ’Twas best to make a clean cut.
“If ye’re hopes for Miss Kilchrest come to be, ye’ll not need to make that walk at all.” She tried to look encouraging.
He asked a few more times if she was absolutely certain she wished him to leave her there. He finally seemed to accept her insistence and continued down the road alone.
In the silence he left behind, Alice sighed. She ought to have realized at some point in the last four months that Isaac was set on his path, that no amount of wishing and caring on her part would make him see her there.
Alice pulled the sowthistle from her hair, spinning it about between her fingers. He’d given his intended flowers and the woman hadn’t cared. This tiny, wildflower to Alice was a treasure. But it was also something of an arrow to the heart. He’d given it to her off-hand, with no real meaning.
She stepped up to the lake’s edge and set the flower in the water. It floated slowly away from shore. Alice watched it, wishing her heartache could drift away as easily.
She’d leave early for Cavan on Saturday and the next Sunday return early to the farm where she worked. She would make the walk on her own and maybe, in time, learn to push Isaac Dancy from her heart.
And on that thought, she watched Isaac’s flower tip in the water and sink from sight.
Chapter Four
Alice didn’t come to their meeting spot that Saturday, neither did she meet him on Farnham road for the walk back. To Isaac’s surprise, she didn’t make an appearance the next weekend either.
