Page 51 of Good Duke Gone Cold

“Yes, I’m fine. What happened?”

She heard the faint click of Margaret’s vinaigrette closing. “You swooned.”

“I can’t remember the last time I swooned.”

“Neither can I. You had me so worried. This is another action that is going on the list of impermissible activities for you. No unconscious states. No swooning.”

Mary’s lips twitched into a smile. “Yes, of course. I shall tell myself to never engage in either of those activities again.”

Margaret chuckled. “Very good.” Then she turned to someone nearby, “Please help us up.”

The two women made their way to their feet. “What do you think happened, Mary?”

Mary didn’t want to admit aloud what she thought happened. She thought she fainted due to nerves and stress. But she was also worried that her heart was not into the acting because the faces she was staring into were not familiar. Being on stage with real actors and actresses was not like acting with Margaret, Jonathan, and Gregory. To put it honestly to herself, acting with strangers was not enjoyable. But this was a dream she was not ready to let go of yet. She had pushed herself so far, how could she let it up now? She had to make this work, yet, as she recalled standing on the enormous stage, she felt no sense of joy, only foreboding.

One small tear wrangled its way out of the corner of her eye. She quickly whisked it away, but not before Margaret saw.

“Come tell me what is on your mind.” She guided them to a small room behind the stage with chairs. After the two were seated in plushly-cushioned armchairs, Margaret prodded, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t think I can do it.”

“Yes, you can do it.”

“No, I don’t think I can.”

“Whatever it is, you can do it.” Margaret patted her friend on the forearm. “You have come this far. We are all behind you. Whatever you want, we can help.”

Mary sighed. “I think that is the problem.”

Margaret quirked a brow.

“I don’t know if this is what I want.”

“Well, that is… unexpected. So much work has gone into this. So much time and money. What about—” A breath whooshed out of Margaret. She leaned back in a most unladylike fashion, then pushed herself right back up and clapped her hands. “No, of course it doesn’t matter.” She shook her head as if to shake loose any doubts in her mind. “None of it matters. If you don’t want to do the play, we will cancel it. Lyle is resourceful enough to come up with another source of entertainment.”

Mary extended her hand. “I still want to do the play. It’s just thatIdon’t want to do it. I prefer acting among friends, where it is enjoyable and all in good fun. I feel so foolish, and perhaps even somewhat defeated, but… I don’t think I want to act in it anymore.”

Margaret laughed until she wiped away a few tears of mirth. “Oh my dear friend. That is truly nothing. There are many paid actresses willing to take on this role.”

“You don’t perceive this as me giving up on my dreams?”

“Egad! No! My dear, dear friend, please trust me. This is not you giving up your dreams. This is you changing with your dreams. Dreams can change. We are allowed to change. People change. Life changes. If we did not allow for these changes we would lead such confined and stagnant lives.”

Mary smiled as Margaret continued her extolling, “This is not you giving up. This is you being yourself. Fully knowing and accepting yourself. Being in front of or behind the curtains makes no difference. Just be you.”

Mary leaned over to hug her friend. She needed to hear those words of truth. Dreams change because people change, and people change because dreams change.

***

Exactly two weeks later, Mary stood behind the curtains watching her dreams become a reality as the actors and actresses took their final bows on the stage. As she wiped away tears from her eyes, she felt an abundance of gratitude in her heart, to the divine, to old and new friends, and to herself.

Mary felt a presence behind her, but when she turned to look, no one was there. She shrugged off the feeling as Lyle swung her into his arms and gave her a smacking kiss right on the cheek. It was not intimate, but it was still completely improper. Thankfully no one saw.

“Put me down.”

“Mary, my girl! That was incredible.”

Her arms were held tightly against her sides by his tightening embrace, otherwise she would have reached out to slap him.

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