Page 137 of Of Pucking Course

“Del, I love you. You’re a great big brother,” I say. “But you’ve always been way too protective of me when it comes to dating and relationships.”

He starts to speak, but I stop him.

“Let me finish,” I say, my tone firm.

“Sorry,” he says in a quiet voice.

“I know it comes from a good place. I know you’re like that because of how we grew up…because of how Dad abused Mom…” My voice trembles as I trailed off, and my eyes burn with tears.

Del stands up and hugs me.

“I know you told me to sit, but I’m not just going to sit and do nothing while you cry, Dakota.”

I squeeze my arms around my big brother. I lean back. “I’m good now.”

He sits back down.

I let out a breath. “I know you want to protect me from getting hurt. You’ve protected me my whole life, and I love you for that. But I need to experience life on my own, too. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to relationships. I know I’ve picked some real losers.”

He nods along.

“But I’m figuring out what I want. I’m learning how to stick up for myself and make it clear how I want to be treated.” I’m quiet for a second. “I know in a perfect world, Iwouldn’t have been with Jake. But life isn’t perfect. I think I needed to make a lot of mistakes before I learned what exactly I want and need out of a partner.”

He’s quiet as he looks at me.

“I know my breakup with Jake was messy, but it helped me realize that I deserve a million times better than what I’ve been putting up with in my relationships. It helped me realize that I deserve a good guy like Sam.”

Del’s jaw tenses.

“He told me what you did in college to save his hockey career.”

His brow lifts. “He did?”

I nod. “You’re an incredible friend for helping him,” I say. “I know you two have some sort of bro code when it comes to dating each other’s sisters. And that was fine then, but things are different now, Del. I get to call the shots in my life. Sam and I have been friends for years, but now things are different between us. We’re a couple and we’re happy. We don’t need your approval or your permission to be together. But we’d love your support.”

I look at my big brother and wait for him to fight me on this, to tell me he’s just trying to look out for me, or that he knows better than me.

But instead, he just nods and says, “Okay. I get it.”

He huffs out a breath. “You’re right. I’ve tried to protect you your whole life because of the way Dad mistreated Mom. You’re my little sister, Dakota. I care about you. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“I know,” I say softly.

Del is quiet for a long moment.

“Sam’s a good guy,” he finally says.

“Then why were you so upset at him earlier when you sawus together?”

Del tugs a hand through his dark hair. “Because you’re my baby sister, Dakota. I don’t want to picture you with any guy. I mean, do you want to walk in on me and Ingrid after we’ve?—”

I make a grossed-out face, cutting him off. “God, no.” I sigh. “Okay, yeah, I get it. You walked in on an awkward moment. But I hope it makes you happy that I’m with a truly good guy. A guy you know well. Who you know would never, ever hurt me.”

Del blinks, the look in his eyes softening. “You’re right. Sam’s the best guy I know.”

Another long stretch of silence passes. He glances off to the side. I can tell he’s thinking hard about everything I’ve said.

“You’re right, Dakota,” he says after a while. “You’re your own person. You don’t need me interfering in your life. I’m sorry I’ve done that so much.”

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