Page 46 of Of Pucking Course

The curious part of my brain goes into overdrive. Imissed the first part of their conversation because I was asleep, but now I need to know exactly what her douchebag ex did to her.

I lean forward and strain to hear what she’s saying.

“I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed,” Dakota says. “I mean, Jake and I were together for almost a year. And not once was I able to have an orgasm with him.”

“Don’t say that,” Maya says. “This isn’t your fault.”

“It’s absolutely not your fault,” Ingrid says.

“Yeah, the only person at fault here is Jake,” Bella says.

“Totally,” Sophie chimes in. “Jake was your partner, Dakota. Your pleasure in the bedroom should have been his number one priority. Instead, he was a selfish jerk who only cared about getting himself off.”

I nod along with everything they’re saying. Only a selfish asshole would ignore his partner’s needs in the bedroom. Jesus, this Jake guy was an even bigger piece of shit than I thought.

“No, I really think it might be a problem with me, you guys,” Dakota says, her tone sad. “I, um, haven’t been able to have an orgasm with any of the guys I’ve dated.”

That angry feeling sharpens inside of me.

“I just…I get so inside my own head. It’s hard for me to relax and enjoy how sex feels sometimes. I always worry that I’m taking too long. And the only times I’ve been able to come with a partner are when I’m using toys.” She’s quiet for a moment. “When I’ve brought it up to the guys I’ve dated, they’re almost always understanding at first. They’re willing to try things to help me. But they all eventually give up. I think they just get sick of dealing with me. Like, they’re frustrated that my problem isn’t an easy fix.”

“That’s because the guys you’ve dated are assholes,” Mayasays.

Dakota lets out a sad laugh. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s both. Maybe they’re assholesandmy body is defective.”

Maya, Ingrid, Bella, and Sophie reassure Dakota that she’s not.

I sit there going over everything Dakota has just said. My chest aches when I think about how sad and ashamed she sounds.

No one should ever make their partner feel like they’re defective or that something is wrong with them, no matter the reason.

The fact that Dakota has had such a terrible experience with her exes in the bedroom makes me want to rage. Sex is an intimate act, and you should always go out of your way to make your partner feel comfortable. Always. That’s baseline. Her exes are the bottom of the fucking barrel if they couldn’t even do that.

“I just want to be a confident sex goddess who has multiple orgasms with a partner. Is that too much to ask?” Dakota’s tone is half-joking, half-sad.

“You can be,” Bella says. “You just have to find the right guy.”

“I don’t know if that guy even exists,” Dakota says. “And even if he does, I’m not ready for another relationship anytime soon. I mean, I’m still legally married to Jake. I just wish…”

She trails off. I tense and hold my breath, waiting for her to say more.

She exhales sharply. “Honestly, I don’t care if I never have another relationship ever again. I just wish I could find a guy who could rock my world in the bedroom and show me that I’m not a broken mess.”

All of them start talking at once so quickly that I can’t understand them.

I lie back down, that restless feeling still coursing through me. There’s zero chance I’m going to get back to sleep now that I’ve learned all this about Dakota.

After a couple of minutes, I hear Maya and Ingrid say they should get going.

“I need to get going too for tonight’s game,” Sophie says.

“Thanks again for coming over, you guys,” Dakota says.

“We’re here for you always, no matter what,” Sophie says.

“Anytime you need a girls’ night or a vent session, text us,” Bella says. “And if you change your mind about wanting me to poison Jake, let me know.”

I start to laugh, but quickly cover my mouth with my hand so they don’t hear me.

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