Page 31 of The Devil You Know
“It’s been a while,” the voice replied.
“Couple of months, at least. A lot has happened.” Evan listened closely to the caller, trying to match the voice of the man to the teen he had been so close to before he’d fled their home. Parker was four years younger, so he’d been thirteen the last time Evan had seen him in person. The deeper voice reminded Evan that Parker would be twenty now.
After Evan left home, Parker had to sneak sending emails, so their parents didn’t find out. That meant their contact had been haphazard, but Evan treasured every word. They had managed to stay in touch every month or so, until this past year when Evan had gone on the road with Seth and everything changed.
Parker cleared his throat. “Yeah. Too long.”
Anger threatened to bubble up, Evan’s first line of defense in those first lonely years after he left home. So much had been left unsaid and unfinished. He reined in his temper, trying not to lash out.
“Why haven’t you called?” Evan tried and failed to keep his voice neutral.
“You didn’t call either.”
Evan took a deep breath and let it out. “This last year…it’s been unusual. There were some things that I didn’t want to drag you into.”
Parker paused. “Are you okay?”
Evan felt a stab of hurt thinking of hownot okayhe was with Seth’s disappearance. “Yeah,” he lied. “Things are going pretty well now.”That much was true until Seth vanished.“How about you?”
“I left.”
“What?”
Pride colored Parker’s tone. “I finally grew a pair and left home. I couldn’t stand being there anymore—the house, the state, the church. I’m out—for good.”
“Congratulations.” Evan felt proud and worried. “Do you need money? Are you staying somewhere safe? Do you have a job?”
“I’m sharing an apartment, which keeps the rent down. I’m working several jobs to save money to go to community college. Things are tight, but I’m getting by,” Parker replied, sounding pleased with himself.
“That’s great. It sounds like you’re really making it happen,” Evan praised, relieved that his brother had finally left the toxic environment they’d been raised in. Evan knew it stifled Parker, even if he wasn’t gay.
Parker was quiet long enough that Evan checked to be sure the call hadn’t ended. “Dad’s sick. Cancer. I thought you’d want to know.”
Evan wasn’t prepared for the stab of old pain those words brought. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “I know what I’msupposedto say—but it wouldn’t be true. Dad was going to send me for conversion therapy or throw me out. Even Mom didn’t try to defend me or stop him.”
“They’re leaning on me pretty hard to come home,” Parker admitted. “And they wanted me to pressure you. I’m not. Just letting you know. What you do is up to you.”
“Is he sorry?” Evan heard the brittle edge in his voice, the line between rage and heartbreak.
Seth’s missing and in danger. Now this. I know where my priorities lie.
“Mom says you need to come home and make peace with him.”
“Fuck that. I was seventeen when they rejected me, Parker. I barely had time to pack a bag. I was lucky—I didn’t end up dead or trafficked, like a lot of kids who get thrown away. So, if he doesn’t regret what he did, I’ve got nothing to say to him.”
“Mom’s taking this hard. She says she needs you.”
“To clean up whatever mess Dad’s going to leave behind? The answer is no. Let Jim help them.” Evan pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. “Hell, I’m probably already disinherited, for whatever that’s worth.”
“I never forgave them for making you leave,” Parker said.
Once upon a time, Evan and Parker had been inseparable. The four years’ difference between their ages never seemed to matter. There had only been one secret Evan kept from Parker, and that was when he’d figured out he was gay. Back then, Evan was struggling hard enough to accept himself without the shame and guilt his very conservative church claimed he deserved. He was afraid that if Parker knew, it would change everything.
“Look, this is a bad time. Maybe we can talk again later?” Evan couldn’t focus, but he didn’t want to push Parker away since he’d worked up the nerve to call.
“Okay,” Parker said, sounding uncertain. “I’d like that.”
Evan ended the call, overwhelmed by a tumult of emotions. Fear for Seth’s safety was the strongest. Anger at his father came second. Despite everything, Evan regretted that he and Parker hadn’t seen each other in person for so long and that their calls had grown more sporadic. Concern about his father’s condition barely registered, which sparked guilt. Evan pushed those feelings down remorselessly. He also noted that Parker hadn’t mentioned their brother Jim, most likely because he hadn’t changed either, and Evan wasn’t about to ask.
