Page 52 of Flynn

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“I told you so, I told you so, Itold you so!” Kate cried as I lay on my back on her bed, my head hung over the edge. The room was upside down, but maybe that was a good thing. I needed a new perspective, which was also why I’d come to see the only other person who knew about mine and Flynn’s deception.

I’d knocked on her door three hours ago, and after taking one look at my face, she sent her boyfriend away and opened a bottle of wine. I told hereverything.

“Kate, you’re not helping,” I grouched.

“I’m sorry, but who was it that told the two of you that this would blow up in your faces? Oh, right. Me!” she shouted, moving around on the bed so that my body jostled. “And who was it that said you both had feelings for each other and would fall in love? Also, me!”

“You’re insufferable when you’re right,” I grumbled, and she laughed.

“Who was it that reminded you both you can’t play pretend forever, and that one of you was to have to man up and express your feelings? Pretty sure it was me. Itold youthat deep down you both wanted each other but were using this whole fake relationship thing as a way to safely test it without someone getting hurt. Only, someone was always going to get hurt unless you were both honest.”

“I tried, Kate,” I said in a whisper, closing my eyes when they burned.

She moved around beside me, and a moment later she joined me on the bed with her head hanging over the edge too. She sighed and took my hand in hers.

“I know you did, hon. You did the right thing, because one of you had to say something.”

My breath was shaky, and I tried to regain control of my emotions. “But at what cost? At least before, we had a chance of getting through this with our friendship intact. Now, it’s all ruined.”

Kate scoffed. “Uh, no. If by before, you meanbeforehe got on that plane, then sure. But the moment you two set eyes on each other again, you were screwed. This has been over ten years waiting to happen. The circumstances just needed to sync up.Now you’re both here, things got hot and heavy like I knew they would, and it should be working, if only the other party would come to the table.”

“And how do I make that happen? Clearly, he would prefer to live in denial and live up the bachelor life,” I said, but even as the words passed my lips, they didn’t feel exactly right. “I mean, do I even have a right to be mad? He told me from the start that we had limitations, and I agreed.”

“Uh, hell yes you have a right to be mad!” Kate replied fiercely. “I mean, the guy has feelings for you, we can all see that, and not just horny feelings either.”

I snickered, and she continued before I could say anything about her crude terminology. “The way he looks at you, the way I’ve seen him touch you when it was for no one else’s benefit, it all paints the picture of a man falling hard and fast. But then he tries to gaslight you into thinkingyou’rethe one running away with their emotions? Thathehas to be the big strong man and protect you from yourself?”

“Right?” I cried, releasing my hair which had been bunched in the hand not held in Kate’s. I watched the long dark strands trail along the carpeted floor and blew out a breath.

“So, I’m not crazy then?” I asked quietly. “I’m not just being overly emotional or thinking we have something real when we don’t?”

Kate made a sound of disbelief and laughed. “Hell no. You two were hot for each other as teenagers, but things were way too murky back then and you had a level head on you thatnoteenager should be capable of. You kept an emotional distance, and he knew you were too good for him at the time. It went the way it was meant to back then.”

I forced myself up—an action that took an embarrassing amount of effort—and huffed with exertion.

“So then, what’s the problem now?” I asked, frowning.

“He’s got a dick.”

I choked on my own saliva. “What?”

Kate grinned and sat up too, her long hair tumbling over her shoulders, her dark blue eyes sparkling with humor.

“I’m serious, hon. The problem you’re having… he’s got a dick between his legs.”

I stared at her incredulously for several long moments and then laughed. “Uh, hate to break it to you, babe, but what’s hanging between his legs was so definitelynotthe problem. It was… well…” I trailed off, my face heating.

Kate laughed and shoved me gently, and I couldn’t stop my own laugh.

“Go, Chiara!” she cried proudly. After another moment, she sighed and shook her head. “But seriously, what I meant was that he’s a guy. It doesn’t matter how big and bad they are, almost all of them are terrified of their own feelings, especially when it comes to that one special woman.”

“But… why?” I asked, truly puzzled. “Flynn has faced a lot of bad things in his life—literal warzones—and he’s afraid to let me love him and vice versa?”

Kate shrugged. “It’s the oldest of stories, babe. A stray bullet in a warzone could wound him or kill him. But a woman who holds his heart has the power to utterlydestroyhim. Most men fear the idea of loving someone so completely.”

I considered her words for a long moment, letting them sit for a while. I replayed my time with Flynn in my head, the way we talked and danced, and the way he looked at me. The way he talked and held me. There was so much intimacy in everything we did. He still opened up to me in a way he didn’t with anyone else. And then earlier today when he totally shut me out, he was another person altogether. My Flynn was locked away, guarded by walls he refused to let anyone penetrate.

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