Page 54 of Flynn

Kate bit her lip and I frowned. “What?”

“Uh, well, do you remember how all the guys were meant to be going to Ellis’s thing tonight? But you didn’t want Flynn to have to deal with that, and you also didn’t want him left alone, so—”

I groaned and dropped my head back. I’d organized for him and Trevor to join us girls and be our lookouts. They wanted to make sure we were all safe and could cut loose without having to worry about men who didn’t know how to takenoas an answer or our drinks being spiked.

“We can still do this. It’ll just take some intricate handling,” Kate hurried to assure.

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief, and she grinned. “Fine, we’ll get shit-faced drunk, and we’ll forget all about Flynn for the night.”

I laughed and shook my head, but her smile grew, and I sent asilent thanks to the universe for giving me Kate as a friend.

“Alright,” I agreed. “Let’s start getting ready and go find the bride.”

Chapter Fourteen

Flynn

I’d done the right thing.

Right?

I sat on one of the lounges in the lobby of the hotel—the same place I’d been since handing the rental bike back—and watched Sofia, Ara, and Kate laugh together in a group as they talked about tonight’s activities.

The moment she came out of the elevator, I felt her. I hadn’t needed to turn my head to know it was her; my body was primed to feel her whenever she was close.

Her gaze had locked on mine the second I raised my gaze to hers. I’d been treated to a brief moment of confusion and pain in her eyes before she turned her attention away from me and refused to look in my direction again.

I understood her distance, but fuck I hated it.

For the last half an hour, other guests had been arriving, and so the lobby was loud and filled with wedding guests eager to talk to the bride and groom. Ellis stood a little way from the girls, talking to a bunch of guys who had just arrived. I didn’t know any of his friends, but they all looked exactly like him, so my opinion already wasn’t all that high.

Despite being surrounded by his friends, I didn’t miss the way his eyes constantly strayed back to Chiara, and something itched at the back of my brain. What the fuck was his issue? Why couldn’t he just move on and be happy with Sofia? Was he really still hung up on Ara or was his obsession more to do with the fact thatshewas the one to dumphim?

Turning my attention back to Ara, I could tell she had no idea Ellis was checking her out, and her attention was all for the bride and their new guests.

I’d known I was in danger of falling for Ara since I felt that first spark of attraction for her when I’d been a kid. But I was bad for her, I was damaged goods. The day my parents died because of my father’s rage and abuse had changed something inside me. There was a well of rage that seemed limitless, and the only way I’d been able to handle it all these years were moments of violence. As a kid, it had resulted in trips to the principal’s office and talking to police officers. Joining the Army had saved me, because I trained until my body was too exhausted to move and my mind was blissfully numb. Then when we’d seen actual combat, the adrenaline had been enough to keep me tempered, not to mention the actual necessary violence. Coming home, I’d joined a gym that taught boxing, and I frequented an MMA fight club. That was to say nothing of the hours I spent at the shooting range.

Without these things, I knew I was unstable, that I was a volcano of rage waiting to erupt, and the thought of taking all that fury out on someone I cared about made me physically ill. Especially on someone with a nature as kind and beautiful as Chiara’s made me sick to my core.

I didn’t have real relationships because I didn’t know if one day, my rage would be directed at them, and I’d lose my grip. I didn’t trust myself. It shamed me to admit it, and I hated thinking I had that weakness inside of me, but refusing to acknowledge it made me feel helpless as well as angry, and one volatile emotion was enough.

Ara’s laugh drew me back to the present and my chest constricted at the sight of her wide smile that seemed to light her up from the inside out.

Fuck.

I could still feel what it was like to hold her in my arms, to feel her impale herself on me and ride me to climax. The sound of her coming was forever ingrained in my head, and the sight of her…Christ. I’d never seen anything so beautiful.

Watching the light die from her eyes when I shut down on her had hurt. But hearing her talk about the possibility of us outside the island was a wake-up call. We’d already outlined the parameters of our temporary relationship. We had an agreement. This was the first time she’d hinted at something more, and maybe I’d overreacted, but I had to squash any hope of more. I couldn’t let that idea take hold in her head. And if I were honest with myself, I couldn’t let it take root in mine. If I allowed myself to think—even for a second—what it would be like to incorporate Ara in my real life, I’d be done for. Because I had a sinking feeling it would be all too easy. It would feel so goddamn natural that I’d start to crave the idea of our life together, and I just couldn’t do it.

We could never be, so why torture myself and hurt her by contemplating the idea?

I’d done the right thing.

So why did I feel like a cowardice piece of shit?

Chiara was one of the most self-aware people I’d ever met, and she never took less than what she deserved. She almost always knew what she wanted, and more importantly, what she didn’t want. The only time I’d known her to bow to social pressure was when she’d dated Ellis. After the way that turned out, I couldn’t see her allowing society or anyone else tell her how to live again.

Certainly not me.

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