Page 101 of On My Side
“You don’t have plans with your family?” she asks, surprise lacing her voice.
I shrug. I don’t want to tell her I’m not too happy with my family after finding out how they treated Audrey when she was pregnant. Mom’s texts have gone unanswered, and I muted the sibling group chat. My dad called me last night, which is weird in itself, and I sent it to voicemail.
How am I supposed to look them in the eyes and act like everything’s normal when I learned they turned a pregnant teenager away? Not just any pregnant teenager, but a girl who trusted them to support her? A girl they welcomed in our home frequently until she was pregnant. The entire concept of the religion that is so important to them is built on the back of a pregnant teenager.
When I was growing up, being a good Catholic meant being like Jesus. Being kind, not excluding people, looking out for one another, praying… not literally refusing to help someone they were more than capable of helping. While I don’t put my parents on a pedestal, I always admired how their faith wasn’t something they used to harm others, even when I stopped practicing. Learning I’m wrong is a mindfuck.
“If you want to join us, you’re more than welcome to,” Audrey says gently, tilting my chin with the crook of her finger. “But I don’t want you to choose between us and your family.”
But what if I want you and Piper to be my family, too?I hold it back. That’s too much right now. We’ve done a really good job at moving slow, physically and emotionally, and I don’t want to make her feel rushed.
“I’m not really talking to my family,” I say slowly.
She cups my cheek with her mittened hand, and I can’t help but lean into the safety and security of her touch. “Ren, please tell me it’s not because of me.”
I exhale heavily. “It’s not. Not really. I’d be pissed to find out they treatedanyonethe way they treated you.”It’s unbearable because it wasyou.
She pulls her hand away, and I immediately miss her touch. “I don’t… Ren. You’ll resent me one day if you let me pull you away from your family. What happens when you realize that it was…” she trails off.
“It was what?”
“A waste. That I’m a waste of your time.”
I take a step towards her. “And what if I don’t?” I ask. “Let’s challenge that thought like you’ve been working on with Eva. What if I never think you’re a waste of time and next year you’re stuck watching theStar Warsholiday special with me?”
“Thewhat?”
“Lorenzo?” Audrey and I jump apart like two high schoolers caught making out at the way-too-familiar voice. I give Audrey an apologetic look, hoping she can read my true remorse in my eyes. “Is that you?”
“Hi, Mom,” I say, turning on my heel, and plastering my ‘Ren is always happy!’ smile on. My parents stare back at me, pickleball paddles in hand. Why they’re playing pickleball in this weather is beyond me.
“You haven’t texted me back,” is the next thing out of my mother’s mouth, and I have to go into overdrive to make sure my smile doesn’t falter. A faltering smile gives too much away.
“Right,” I say. I’m not certain if my cheeks hurt from smiling or the biting cold. Probably a little of both. “Sorry. Been, uh, busy…”
“Buddy, are we interrupting something?” My dad is pointing his paddle at Audrey, and I fight the urge to reach out and slap it out of his hand. “Are you going to introduce us to your friend?”
Damn my father’s overly friendly demeanor.
“No.” Now I fight the urge to slap myself because I answeredwaytoo fast.
“Lorenzo, baby. What’s going on?” My mom’s suddenly cupping my cheeks. “Is something wrong? Are you sick?”
“I’m fine, Mom.” My cheeks burn with embarrassment of being babied in front of Audrey. I’m a grown man, for god’s sake. “I’ve been—”
“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn,” Audrey says, stepping out from behind me. “It’s good to see you.”
I exhale, and face my parents. “Mom, Dad, you remember Audrey?”
Mom and Dad stare at Audrey, mouths agape as recognition sets in. “Audrey?” Mom says, blinking rapidly.
“Audrey!” Dad exclaims, a big grin spread across his face. “I knew I recognized you. It’s good to see you, sweetheart.” I watch in complete horror, still trapped in my mother’s vise-like grip, as Dad steps around me, arms outstretched to Audrey.
I pull out of Mom’s grasp and grab his shoulder to stop him. “Get away from her,” I snap.
“Okay, buddy,” Audrey says, placing her mittened hand on my shoulder. “I need you to chill out a degree or two, okay?”
I flush, knowing this is the voice she uses when Piper has big feelings. She’s gentle-parenting me in front of my actual parents, who are currently staring at me like I’ve grown another head. That’s fair, I kind of feel like I have. A second head that is filled to capacity with Audrey’s smile and the way she holds her breath right before she…
