Page 124 of On My Side
“Then you would end up breaking your promise.”
I wince. “Damn, that bad?”
“That bad,” he confirms.
“Does it have to do withStar Wars? Are you wearing a Carrie Fisher mask and wearing that skimpy bikini…” I trail off at the look on Ren’s face. He seems intrigued, and that worries me.“Stop making that face. That’s not a fantasy you have.” If I demand it, it makes it true, right?
“I mean. That’s not what the audio was gonna be about, but now that you mention it…”
As he rambles about his newfound fantasy of dressing in the costume most straight men fantasize about their female partner wearing, something in the rolling cart catches my eye.
“Oh my fuckinggod!” I shriek.
The noise startles both Leia and Ren, the former wrestling her way out of Ren’s arms and leaping over his shoulder onto the floor. She sprints out of the room as I lunge for the cart, clenching my fist around the black fabric.
“JesusChrist, Aud. What the…” He’s silent when I turn around, a Ghostface mask in my hand.
“Please tell me it’s because we started watchingScream,” I beg, nearly vibrating with excitement.
His face of horror morphs into a self-satisfied smirk. “Ah, you’re into it.”
“I never said that.” I toss the mask to him, and he catches it, shit-eating grin still in place. “Put it on,” I demand.
Ren takes his glasses off and places them on the edge of the desk. He slips the mask over his head and looks at me. “You have a mask kink. I was right.”
“Sure,” I say, biting my fist to keep in my laughter. I can see how this image would definitely work for a lot of his listeners, cat scratches red on his chest, tattoos on full display, and those evil gray sweatpants hanging on to his hips for dear life. “Will you read the script for me?” I ask, batting my eyelashes despite the fact his vision is currently impaired by both his lack of glasses and the mask.
“You can’t make fun of me when I enlarge the font,” he says, closing the office door.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I agree.
He sits at his desk, mask still in place, and turns the computer on. He opens a file folder and clicks around until a document is pulled up. I keep my word, not laughing when he enlarges it to a forty-eight-point font.
“Hello, slut,” he says, lowering his voice to Sky’s.Oh, we’re just going there.“I bet you didn’t expect to see me…”
“No, I didn’t,” I respond.
He turns his masked face to me. “Aud, you don’t have to answer. It’s like… rhetorical.”
“Oh. I guess I’m used to answering when I’m alone with my headphones and toy…” I sigh wistfully and trail my nails over his shoulder.
It doesn’t elicit a single goosebump. Not one shiver. “I get it, but… it’s kind of taking me out of my Sky mindset, you know? Like I have to stay in the zone to record and stay in character and…”
I bark out a laugh. “Okay, diva.”
He wraps his arm around my waist and rolls closer to me, burying his face just below my breasts. He says something, but with the mask covering his mouthandhis face buried in the t-shirt, I have no idea what it is.
“What?”
He sighs and straightens. “I don’t mean to be a diva, but it’s how I do a good job. That’s what it is, you know? A job. I enjoy it, but it’s not something I’d do if I weren’t being paid. It’s not arousing or sexual or pleasurable for me. I love that it is for so many people, but that’s not what it is for me.”
I hear what he’s saying, I respect it, and I know he’s serious.
But he’s still wearing that damn mask.
I gently take it off him and search his eyes. “That’s fair,” I tell him, dropping the mask to the floor. “And I can literally continue to not be involved with the process if that’s what you need.”
“I mean… I’m not aroused when I record,” he says. “And I don’t want to be, the idea of thousands of people listening to me in such a vulnerable state?” He shudders.
