Page 76 of The Silent
Again, Kyra found it difficult to read her. “You dislike ourrelationship.”
Alyah turned. “I find itconfusing.”
“Why?”
“You are notequals.”
Her words stung. “No? I thought the Irin valued their women, even if they were not warriors. I may not be as accomplished as you are, but I do have someskill.”
Alyah cocked her head. “That is not why you areunequal.”
“Thenhow?”
“You have no magic. He is a scribe trained in the academy in Riga. He grew in a world without the tempering influence of the Irina council. He was born in blood, raised among nothing butwarriors.”
“And yet he is more gentle than many who boast more,” Kyra said. “It is true I do not have the same magic he does.” She stepped closer to Alyah. “But I do havemagic.”
“Notenough.”
Kyra’s temper snapped. “And how am I to learn more when that knowledge is withheld from me? Did you spring from your mother’s womb versed in the magic you wield now? Or did you learn from countless generations who came before you? I had no such luxury. The fact I amaliveis a miracle. Ginny spoke of watching her sisters die. Do you Irina think you were theonlyones?”
“Doyouthink you know the loss we suffered at the hands of yourbrothers?”
“Most of us are killed at birth,” Kyra said. “Those of us who live are usually abandoned to the humans, who call us crazy. We are locked up. Drug-addicted. Hunted because of these faces.” Kyra slapped her own cheek. “Do you think I like looking like this? Do you think I love the attention it brings? Do you think I like hearing the lust of the humans and the revulsion of mybrothers?”
Alyah took astepback.
“We are driven mad by what we hear,” Kyra continued, walking toward Alyah. “Those Grigori you hate so much are sometimes the only thing standing between us and insanity or death. Theluckiestof us end up in padded rooms. The weakest—the ones with themostmagic—are preyed on by the Fallen who want to use us or by humans who see us as easytargets.”
“Magic doesn’t make us weak,” Alyah spit out. “Do you deride your owngifts?”
“What has yourprecious magicever done for me but bringtorment?”
Allah’s eyes went wide. “Is that why you are with Leo? To gain controloverit?”
Kyra raised her hand to strike, but stopped before Alyah could react. She clenched her fist, pushing back the rage that threatened her. She took a physical step back. Thenanother.
“You don’t know me,” Kyra said quietly. “You don’t know meatall.”
Most assumed the rage belonged only to Kostas. Most saw Kyra’s calm demeanor and quiet life as evidence of peace or some internal fortitude. What they did not see was the well of rage she swallowed daily, just to live anormallife.
She didn’t want to feel it. She often wondered if her repression hurt Kostas by shoving her emotionsintohim.
Kyra took fivebreaths.
In.Out.
Slemaa.
In.Out.
“Domem,” she whispered. Kyra walked to the corner of the room where she had set out a pillow for meditation. She sat and closedhereyes.
Domemlivah.
Domemmanah.
Breathe in.Breatheout.
