Page 97 of The Seeker
His heart sank. “I want her to be.”
“Until she is your true mate, I can teach you nothing. The magic I know only works in tandem.”
Ata walked away, leaving Rhys sitting on the edge of the mound, staring into the morning forest.
“She had a mate?”Meera asked. “Everything makes so much more sense now. When was he lost? Was it during the battle with Nalu? Are you certain?”
“Are you hearing what I’m saying?” Rhys asked. “Do you understand what she said?”
“We have to mate and she’ll teach us the Irina martial magic? I still don’t like the idea of using it, Rhys—especially considering that it sounds like it might be very dangerous to you if her own mate was killed—but I am willing to concede that killing the Fallen may be the only path to true peace. Until we can free more of the Grigori, we can’t effect fundamental, structural—”
“We have to bematedin order to learn this.”
“I heard you.”
Rhys paced back and forth in the small space the hut afforded. “Maybe there’s some way to learn it without being mated. If she teaches you the Irina part, then perhaps I can use my empathy to access her memories. She’d have to be willing but—”
“Wait.” Meera rubbed her eyes and took another drink of the tea Ata had brought her. “I’m confused. Didn’t I just agree with you?”
“You really need to be resting right now. I know it’s hot in the hut, but I can move a pallet into the shade outside. I can see how much that took out of you this morning.” Rhys knelt down beside her and took both hands in his. “Does my touch help or is it draining? Tell me how to help.”
“It helps, but what would really help is you explaining what the problem is.” Meera frowned. “I mean… you’re the one making the argument that I should be your mate.”
His heart ricocheted between mad rejoicing and crushing disappointment. “Yes.”
Her expression was resolute. “And Ata is saying that we need to be mated to learn this magic.”
“Yes.”
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer, Rhys.”
He wanted this, but he didn’t. Not this way. Not another obligation. He wanted to wipe away the infuriating mask that had fallen over her face. He gripped her hands and said nothing.
Meera continued, “While I have my issues with Irin tactics and council policy, we cannot ignore the opportunity this is. Being able to preserve this knowledge is—”
“Don’t fucking say it,” he bit out. “Don’t tell me you’ll agree to be my mate because it’s logical or strategic or whatever fucking argument you were just going to make.”
Meera’s mouth dropped open. “You were the one telling me last night that reason dictated—”
“I was teasing,” he bit out. “I was playing with you.”
“You’re not making any sense,” she said. “Wanting me as a mate was a joke? A tease?”
“No, of course not. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“You’re not making any sense. You say you want me as a mate, and Ata says we need to be mated to learn this magic. Don’t you understand I’m agreeing with you, Rhys?”
“Don’tyouunderstand it would kill me if you chose me because of an obligation?” He stood and stepped away from her.
Her face was stricken. “Rhys—”
“I willnotbe another burden you take on your shoulders to fulfill a role you are duty bound to perform. When you become my mate, it will be because you want me so much you’re mad with it. It will be because you love me as much as I love you. How can that be confusing?”
Her eyes were wide. “You say you love me, so youdon’twant to be my mate?”
Rhys had to get away from her. The temptation to just say,“Yes, of course I’ll be your mate! How about now?”was too strong. “Not like this.” He shook his head. “Not like this, Meera.” He left the hut and walked across the mound and down the stone steps leading out to the bayou. He grabbed the closest boat he could find—a narrow dugout canoe of sorts—and he pushed off with the pole leaning against a cypress tree.
He needed to get away.
