Page 24 of Hooked
“But you also like learning and experiencing new things. You both like to travel. You know tons of interesting people. You—”
“Jeremy Allen has forever eyes. He’s not a fling; he’s a keeper. And that’s not me. You know that’s not me. How many ‘very nice guys’ have I dated—guys you liked—and I ended up breaking up with them because I got bored?”
“Okay yes, but you only have this hang-up because your parents are miserable and should have gotten divorced years ago.”
“Yes. That is absolutely why I have this so-called hang-up.” She took a sundress off a hanger and held it up in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the wall. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Name one guy that I’ve wanted to spend more than six months with.”
“Mark Santis. You were together for nearly six months and you liked him just fine until he wanted to introduce you to his parents, and then you bolted.”
Tayla hung the sundress back in the closet. “You know, evolutionary biologists propose that humans evolved to live in serial monogamy, not with a single partner their entire life. I would be fine with serial monogamy, but most men who want monogamy are ridiculously conventional and want it for the rest of their life instead of just for a few years.”
“Imagine that, someone not wanting to put an expiration date on a relationship. How outrageous.” Emmie rolled her eyes.
“It’s contrary to human biology, Emmie. Don’t argue with science.”
“Humans evolve, Tayla. We live to be ninety-six. We stay in relationships longer than our prime reproductive years. We eatcheese. Call me crazy, but maybe we’re more than our biology. In fact, if you don’t believe humans have evolved enough to be successful monogamists, I don’t think you should be allowed to eat cheese.”
“Nice try,you monster, but you don’t get to make the rules about cheese.” She took a jumper off a hanger and turned to Emmie. “Jumper, yea or nay for outdoor fun?”
“Good in theory, but what if you have to pee in the woods? You’d have to get completely undressed.”
“I am not going anywhere that I have to pee in the woods!” She tossed the jumper on the bed. “Who wants to go anywhere on a first date that doesn’t have abathroom?”
“Didn’t he text you? What did he say?”
“He said: ‘Wear flat shoes and something casual. Bring a sweater. It might be cool later.’ He did not specify what later meant. Or what kind of casual I should wear.” Tayla growled. “Men are the worst. I should wear a business-casual suit just to show him.”
“I don’t think Jeremy knows what business casual is.”
“But honestly, does anyone? It’s way too broad—”
“Wait.” Emmie held up a finger. “I have an idea.” She got her phone out and scrolled through the contacts, tapping on a name while Tayla glared at her. “Hey, Valerie! How you doing?” Emmie paused, sitting up on Tayla’s bed. “Uh-huh. No, that sucks.” Another pause. “So do you think you’re moving back? What do your parents say?” Longer pause. “That sucks.” Emmie glanced at Tayla, who was standing at the foot of the bed with both hands on her hips.
Oh right. Remember me? Standing here?
Emmie nodded. “H-hey, Valerie? When you went out with Jeremy Allen back in high school, what was a typical date like?”
Tayla whispered, “You’re asking his high school girlfriend?”
“Uh-huh.” She listened. “But nothing too… Really?” Emmie’s eyebrows went up. “Huh. That’s unexpected.” Emmie smiled. “Me? No, I’ve got a boyfriend. My best friend is going out with him on Saturday and she’s not exactly the outdoorsy kind. I thought I’d ask you.”
“This is ridiculous,” Tayla said. “Leave that poor woman alone.”
“Call me the next time you’re back, okay? I reopened my grandma’s bookshop. It’s really cool now. There’s a tattoo parlor on the other side. See you! And say hi to Kevin.” Emmie tapped on the phone to end the call. “Not rock climbing.”
“I don’t even want to ask, but I feel compelled—”
“They went out driving a lot, up to the mountains. Over to the coast. Did lots of stuff with friends, which I can second. Bonfire parties. When they were alone, they went to secluded places for obvious hormonal teenage reasons. You know, I assumed he was a late bloomer because he’s so quiet, but you know what they say about the quiet ones—”
“What was the surprising thing?” Tayla waited, still irritated that Emmie had called the woman. Would this Valerie person call Jeremy? Would Jeremy think she was nervous about this date?
Did she somehow time-warp back to high school?Because this whole conversation was ridiculous.
“The surprising thing?” Emmie grinned. “I’m not going to tell you.”
Tayla shook her head. “See, this is why I prefer dating in the city. No one knows anything and you don’t have the ghosts of girlfriends past available for predate phone consultations.”
“Yes.” Emmie tossed her phone to the bed. “Much better to date a possible serial killer instead.”
