Page 78 of Grit
Joan looked up, put a bookmark in her place, and set her book down. “Melissa, what did you do?”
She sat across from her mom and folded her hands on the table. “We never should have… There was a reason there’s been so much tension. That’s my fault. I didn’t recognize what was going on. I should have been more self-aware. But we never should have entertained the idea of—”
“Melissa Oxford Rhodes, that man is in love with you.”
She felt like her mother just punched her. “He never said that.”
“It’s as obvious as the nose on my face. What did you do?”
She rested her face in her hands. “I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Because of the loan?”
“Because of the loan. Because of Abby. Because of the Allen Ranch project knocking at our door. Because I should be getting everything lined up for the mandarin harvest, and I haven’t. Because this bunkhouse project needed to bedonelast week and it wasn’t because Brian is waiting for another check. Because the ranch—”
“Oh bullshit.” Joan lowered her voice and glanced down the hall. “That is bullshit. Now, some of those things are valid reasons to feel overwhelmed, but Stu and Leigh have the herd well in hand. You only have to ride out there anymore if he needs another hand and Leigh’s not around—a few times a week at most.”
“And Abby?”
“What about her? Abby isfine. She’s doing well in school. She has a new horse she adores, even if her other grandparents are being difficult. She has her friends. She has her goats.”
“Allen Ranch.”
“Is not your responsibility.” Joan shrugged. “We’ll deal with whatever happens. We always do.”
“The loan.”
“We haven’t even gotten notice, but if worse comes to worst, I will cash in my retirement to pay them back. I have enough in my account. I am yourmother, Melissa Catherine Oxford. Don’t even try to argue with me. We are not losing my daddy’s ranch because”—she glanced down the dark hall again and spoke in a whisper—“because the Rhodes family are assholes.”
Over Melissa’s dead body would her mother be cashing out her retirement. “Fine. What am I going to do about the harvest? No one wants to pick half a crop because there’s not enough money in it. There aren’t enough crews, so instead of ending up with half a harvest, at this rate I’m going to end up with none of one and—”
“You’re going to call Phil like Cary told you to weeks ago and see about subcontracting out his pickers when they have spare time. I don’t know why you haven’t done it already.”
“’Cause it’s gonna cost him money and time and I’m not looking for a handout!”
“Oh Lissa.” Joan took a deep breath and reached for Melissa’s hand. “If one of your friends needed a hand—not a handout, ahand—you would bend over backward to offer them your help. Why can’t you let him do the same?”
“Because…” She couldn’t stop the tears. “I don’t even know if Cary’s my friend anymore, okay?”
“Sweetie.” Joan sat next to Melissa and wrapped her arms around her. “That man loves you. He’s not going to leave just because you had an argument.”
“I can’t lose him. You know… he’s the only friend I have left. I’ve lost everyone else. They probably don’t even remember I’m alive. I have you, I have Abby, and I have Rumi and Cary. And if I lost him as a friend—”
“You’re not gonna lose him.” Joan shook her shoulders. “You can’t do this. You can’t make decisions based in fear. If something bad happened between you and Cary, you’d pick yourself up and you’d move on.”
“And Abby?”
“Abby would be fine. Cary’s relationship with Abby doesn’t run through you. He’s mad at you right now?”
Melissa nodded, blowing her nose on a napkin. “Yeah. Pretty mad.”
“Do you think he’s mad at Abby?”
“Of course not.”
“So?”
Melissa had to sit with that one for a minute because dammit if her mom didn’t have a point. Even if Cary never spoke to her again, he’d find a way to go to Abby’s soccer games and school programs and riding competitions. God knows there had been plenty of times over the years when Cary and Melissa hadn’t been on speaking terms for one idiotic thing or another and Cary still showed up.
