Page 31 of Valley of the Shadow
“The sun.” Brigid shrugged. “It’s overrated.”
Carwyn laughed.
“What?” Brigid said. “It is. And they have those lovely nature programs on the telly now. She can watch those if she misses the sun.”
“There is that.”
“I mean, I feel for the lot of you who lived before television and movies. I can say that for certain. But now?”
“We deserve no pity,” Carwyn said. “I agree completely.”
“Oh, now I didn’t say I don’t pity you, poor man. You’ve got that troublesome smoker of a wife to put up with.” She winked.
“You’re right. My eternity is blighted.”
She reached over and tried to punch his thigh, but he laughed and intercepted her.
“Blighted, he says,” she muttered. “I’ll blight you.”
“I’m sure you will.”
Brigid stood and moved from her chair to Carwyn’s lap. He wrapped his arm around the tiny woman and rested his chin on her shoulder. “Darling girl.”
“Sweet man.”
“Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas. I’m glad she’s here. Glad Natalie is here. This is a good place, even if it has far too many people.”
“Ah, my small, unsociable urchin, I love you so.”
“I love you too,carnín.”
Natalie waited for the sunrise,waited for the children to collapse into bed and for Baojia to fall asleep in his lightproof room before she walked outside, sat in the sun, and allowed herself to fall apart.
Everyone was sleeping, and she was looking at an eternity of darkness. In the silence of the dawn light, she allowed herself to grieve. She grieved for the sunlight and the passing of time. She grieved for the passing of change and her humanity.
But mostly she grieved for the year of life she would miss. She’d been watching Carina and Jake that night, watching the differences between ten-year-old, preteen Carina and Jake’s still rounded baby face and innocent eyes. The time passed so swiftly, and while a year might not seem like a lot to a century-old vampire, for a child it was an eternity.
It was a year of school and countless tiny memories.
It was a school crush and a new best friend.
It was new words and new books and new discoveries she wouldn’t be a part of.
Her chest felt hollow and her head was too full.
“Natalie?”
She heard Dez’s voice behind her, and she swiftly straightened and wiped her tears.
“Don’t.” Dez came and sat beside her, wrapping her arms around Natalie. “Don’t do that. You cry if you want to. This is a lot, and you’ve been putting on a brave face for a month now.”
“A…” She hiccupped. “A y-year, Dez. A whole year, and I’m not gonna be able to see my babies. I can’t… I can’t handle that. I can’t even imagine it.”
“Youwillhandle it.” Dez squeezed her shoulders fiercely. “You will survive it, and they will too. They will have a father who adores them, and they will have good people around them. People you trust. People who love them.”
“B-but will they understand?” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Will they understand why I can’t be there if they’re hurt? If they’re sad? What if something really bad happens and I’m not there?”
