Page 7 of Valley of the Shadow
“They all have risks.” She closed the file. “This isn’t a debate anymore. It’s not a debate, Lucien. This just needs to happen.”
Lucien nodded. “Unfortunately, I agree.”
“Okay.” She took a deep breath and flexed the knee that still ached first thing every morning. “I guess I’ll be dealing with that for eternity.”
“We don’t know how turning would affect your mobility or your joints.”
She waved a hand. “Not important.”
Natalie mentally began to construct how she’d present this to her husband.
Her husband, the man with the stubbornness of an ox and the protective instincts of a bear. Her husband, who’d been superexcited the week before when she mentioned trying for kid three. Her husband, who would keep a single hair from falling off her head if he could manage it.
Baojia didn’t like change. Their plan had always been for Natalie to wait until the kids were in their teens before she turned into an immortal. She was only thirty-eight. She had plenty of time. Another ten years would mean little for an eternity, but missing a year of her children’s young lives while she was learning to control vampire instincts felt like a lot.
“Life doesn’t always go according to plan.” She placed the report on the table and looked at the man who was her doctor, her friend, and soon would be her immortal sire. “He’s going to have to see that.”
His face was implacable.“Ninety percent survival rate after five years is very good.”
“But why?” Natalie leaned forward. “That means a ten percent chance ofnotsurviving. Have you thought about it that way?”
His jaw was set. “And if it doesn’t look like the treatment will be successful, then we have the conversation then.”
“So I’d be risking my immortal health to save my mortal health?”
“If it will give you another five years, yes.”
They were in their bedroom and the kids were in bed. Baojia had paced for ten minutes straight before leaning against the door and crossing his arms over his chest in his most stubborn pose. His expression hadn’t cracked since they’d walked to Lucien’s office at nightfall.
Natalie shook her head. “Why are we fighting over five years?”
“You wanted another baby,” he said. “So did I.”
“So we have two amazing kids instead of three,” she said. “We’re already lucky as hell.”
“Five years…” He took a deep breath. “Five years gets Sarah to nine. She’ll be able to better understand—”
“She already does.” Natalie felt tears well in her eyes. “It’s not going to be any easier to do it in five years than it would be now. I’ll miss things now when I’m healthier or I’ll miss things later when I’m possibly still trying to recover from cancer treatment.”
He rubbed a hand on his temple. “We shouldn’t decide anything right away. We should investigate your options and—”
“Lucien said weeks, not months.”
“Dammit, Natalie!” He exploded from the door and came to kneel in front of her. “You don’t understand how much this is going to change everything. You won’t be able to see your children. Your friends. Your father—”
“I already know that.” She put a hand on his cheek and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Don’t you think I’ve thought about it a hundred times just today? And before that?”
His dark eyes pleaded with her. “You won’t ever see the sun again. You won’t be able to take the kids to the beach. Or go hiking in the redwoods when it’s warm.”
She whispered, “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
He stood. “I’m going to make it harder because I want you to think. I want you to think about everything you’re going to give up if you change right now, and I want you to consider traditional medical treatment to give yourself more time.” He walked to the door. “I’m going to talk to Makeda. She’ll understand.”
“Baojia—”
“Let me talk to her.” He raised a hand. “I just… I want us to do the best thing. For you and for the family.”
He walked out the door, and Natalie put her face in her hands and cried. She hid in the bathroom and cried into a towel so he wouldn’t hear her. She cried until she was wrung out. Then she reached for her phone.
