Page 164 of Dawn Caravan
She kissed along his jaw. “You’re better tonight.”
He played with a strand of her hair. “Sorry about the cranky mood.”
“It’s fine. You’ve put up with more than one of mine over the years.”
“True.” He didn’t say anything more, even though it sounded like he wanted to.
She poked his side. “Speak.”
“I’ve lived here for what? Five years? And in a city of eight million people, I’ve seen him three times. What are the chances of that?”
“It’s really not that big an island. It is bound to happen.” Tenzin wanted to say,Shall I kill him for you?But she didn’t. That would probably be considered a backslide when it came to personal evolution. Chloe would not approve.
“We can move,” she said. “We have options.”
“I like New York. And Cormac has finally stopped giving me dirty looks when I run into him.”
“Do you want me to find your father and strongly suggest he move back to San Juan?”With amnis.Not that she wanted to subject the lovely island of Puerto Rico to Ben’s father.
“I don’t think he’d do anything but make my grandmother’s life miserable.”
She laid her head on his chest. “Why does seeing him bother you so much?”
Ben didn’t say anything for a long time. He stroked his thumb along her hip and stared at the ceiling. “Did you have children when you were alive?”
Tenzin stopped breathing for a moment.
He looked at her, and there was a challenge in his eyes.You want me to show you mine? Show me yours.
Poke. Prod. Stretch the skin and shed it. Leave the old behind.
Growth was painful, especially in moments like this.
“I had three children.” She took a slow breath. “A girl who died and twin boys. I think possibly one of them might have lived to adulthood, but I don’t know because I was abducted by raiders when they were babies.”
The challenge in his eyes fled, and Ben wrapped his arms around her in an iron grip.
“My father is such a shitty person, and he still got to have a kid. I’ll never have children, and I think I’d be so much better at it than he ever was. For some reason, in the past few months, that has been pissing me off. And then I saw him and it was just like… a slap.”
Tenzin examined his expression. She sensed no hidden meaning or prevarication.
“It is ludicrous to say that you will never have children, because you are immortal now and you know that many of our kind adopt children. You don’t know what your life will be like in ten years, let alone in one hundred or two hundred.”
He stroked the back of her neck. “Would you have children again?”
“Not now, and not anytime soon.”
He nodded.
“But I will not say never.” She looked away. “It would be foolish to project like that.”
“Okay.” His hand stroked along her back.
Tenzin closed her eyes and felt his blood living inside her. She still hadn’t told him that she’d started sleeping again. For a few blissful hours each day, she slept and dreamed. That, more than anything, had calmed the voices in her mind.
Often their days were spent like this, Ben falling asleep with Tenzin draped over him, either in the loft or the bedroom they’d light proofed when they returned to New York. Tenzin preferred that Ben sleep in the loft. She liked to sense his nearness even when she was awake or meditating.
That night they were supposed to meet Chloe and Gavin for drinks at the Dancing Bear. But then again, maybe they wouldn’t.
