Page 29 of Dawn Caravan
“Oh no,” Gavin said. “Raduisa complete pain in the ass. But he’s not stupid and you can’t underestimate him. He’s very clever. He comes across as something of a jovial fool because that’s the persona he’s created to set immortals at ease.”
Ben noticed something in Gavin’s posture. “You don’t want me to take this job.”
Gavin shrugged. “If you take it and you succeed, Radu will owe you a favor, and so will the Poshani. That’s no small way to start off immortal life.”
“And if I don’t succeed?”
“Not really an option,” Giovanni said quietly. “I told you the amount he’s paying?” He shook his head. “Once you take this job, Radu won’t accept a refund.”
Ben mulled over the choices, and for the first time in years, he actually felt excited about a job. He wanted this. He wanted the challenge. Wanted the intrigue. And maybe, just maybe, he was spoiling for a fight.
“You can send the gold back,” Gavin said. “Tell him things have changed. At this point, he’d have to accept that. Especially with you being newly turned.”
“And if I want to take it?”
The Scot leaned forward. “Then I’m telling you—for yer own fucking health—to get over yer attitude and call yer damn partner.”
8
Ben sat against a wall in an old warehouse in South Pasadena. He allowed his weight to rest on the ground, enjoying the memory of his human body in this place. How heavy it was. How it moved. How it ached after a long workout. How it thrilled with every duel.
Mirrors lined one wall, and empty weapon racks stood opposite. The training mats remained, a relic of an earlier and simpler time.
“I almost died once,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to. It was in Kentii, when I was learning how to fight in the air. Tai and I finished, but I stayed in the mountains. There was a storm. It was one of those early-spring storms that happen when you go high in the mountains. Ice and rain mixed together. The sky was so black, and I was so hungry. I hadn’t eaten for three days. Stupid, I know.”
She still owned the warehouse. He knew because they still received a bill from the city every month. There were odd artifacts of her existence scattered around the place, but the alcove where she’d once spent her days was empty. Her books were gone except for an old museum program from a special exhibit they’d attended ten years before.
“The sky was so black I lost track of time. I didn’t realize I was starting to dream, that the sun was coming up. I saw you.” He leaned his head against the mirrors and looked at the ceiling. “Or a vision of you, I guess. You talked to me, but obviously you didn’t. So I guess I was talking to myself.”
He fingered the black sash he’d tied around his wrist. It was something he’d found in his dresser at the San Marino house. A simple strip of cotton, one of the many she’d used to tie her hair back one of those countless nights they’d shared. She must have dropped it and he’d picked it up. When he held it to his nose, he could smell a hint of her skin.
“You whispered to me that I was a monster.” He stared at the knot he’d tied over the inhumanly pale skin of his wrist. His skin didn’t get brown anymore. It would never see the sun again. “Zhang found me right when I passed out. I probably would have been in a world of pain if he hadn’t. Maybe burned up. I don’t know, maybe not. That storm lasted for two nights. Do rain clouds protect you from burning?” He looked up. “Either way, I would have had a fun time recovering from those injuries.”
Ben stood and walked along the empty racks, running his finger along the dusty wood. “I miss you, Tenzin. Maybe I miss who I thought you were. Maybe I miss who I thought I was too.” He looked around the warehouse studio where he’d learned to fight with swords. He’d sparred with vampires and humans. He’d sharpened knives and debated combat like a seasoned soldier.
Like aboy.
He’d known nothing.
“Golden boy.” He looked around the warehouse. “You used to call me that. I heard you. Was it an insult? I could never figure that part out.” He walked along the mirrored wall, his feet sinking into the training mats. “For the longest time, I thought my childhood ended in Rome when I killed that man. I don’t know why I thought that, like taking someone’s life was a kind of graduation in the vampire world.” He paused and looked at his reflection, staring into his inhuman brown-and-silver eyes. “I was still a boy. Just a boy with blood on my hands. Killing never made me any smarter or any harder.” He blinked. “Death did.”
Ben walked away from the mirror, turning his back to his reflection.
“I know you’re still keeping tabs on me. I smelled you in Xining. I’m pretty sure I saw you in the market in Seoul. I know you were in Kashgar, and I know you followed me here.” He stooped and picked up a bag of her things she’d left around the San Marino house. “I’m leaving your stuff.” He flew up to the alcove where she’d once rested. “Stop following me.”
He tossed the bag into the nook and floated back down to the ground. “I’ll even say please. If you ever really cared about me, Tenzin,pleasestop following me.”
* * *
Tenzin listenedto him from the roof, absorbing every painful word.
My Benjamin, anger still eats your soul.
She wanted to hold him. Wanted to comfort him. Wanted to whisper in his ear that nothing could make him the monster he feared he’d become. He might be a little less shiny, but he was still her golden boy. He was still the light to her darkness; the only one she’d found in thousands of years. Was she selfish for wanting to keep it?
Yes.
Oh well.
