Page 42 of Dawn Caravan
Ben knew why everyone was happy. Even his closest friends and family understood why Tenzin had done what she did. And most of them, if they were being honest, were glad. They didn’t understand why he’d been so reluctant to be a vampire in the first place.
But Ben had stared into monsters’ eyes, human and immortal, and he knew what evil looked like. He saw the darkness in himself. He’d seen it flash hot and bright over the years. In Rome. In Shanghai. In New York. He’d felt the oozing blackness that crept through the darkest parts of himself and he knew—heknew—that taming that would be far harder than taming his thirst for blood.
You’re a little bastard.His mother’s slurred words across the kitchen haunted him. Five-year-old Ben didn’t understand what it all meant, why his mom was lying on the floor with red eyes, her speech nearly unintelligible, but he understood what hate sounded like.
You’re such a little bastard.
No. Done. She was gone and he was a different person. Ben Rios was well and truly dead now. He’d taken his last breath in a little stone house outside of Shanghai.
The Ben he would become? He was still working on that.
12
Ben woke the next night to the sound of Chloe in his anteroom and the smell of delicious Romanian coffee and some savory pastry. His mouth watered. He sat up and reached for the half-empty bottle of blood-wine on the table next to him. He’d drunk half the night before, trying to wash the taste of the Romanian mugger out of his mouth before he fell into day rest.
After finishing the bottle, he rose and pulled on a pair of loose-knit pants and a tank top. Unsealing his door, he walked straight to Chloe, who was already working on her laptop.
“I know you’ve probably got plans for the evening but—”
Ben pulled her up from the sofa and into his arms. “I’m sorry about last night.”
She hugged him hard. “I don’t want to make light of your feelings. I know it must have been a shock to see her.”
Ben released her and sat in the chair across the table before he reached for the coffee thermos. “You could say that.”
Chloe stared at him. “I don’t know how you want me to react. It’s harder to read you now.”
Ben sighed. “It’s harder to read myself now.” He shrugged. “I don’t always understand my mood swings.”
“Okay.” Chloe closed her laptop. “Just to give you a little perspective, I want you to imagine, for a minute, what it would have been like if it was me. If you’d gotten news from Gavin on the other side of the world that I’d been stabbed in the back—literally stabbed in the back—and there was nothing you could do to help. There was nothing you or Tenzin could do and Gavin was taking me to… his sister.”
Ben made a face. Gavin hated his sister.
“Exactly,” Chloe said. “And you didn’t get any news for an entire day. Nothing. And then you found out that I was alive and a vampire and that was the only way to save my life.”
“But that wasn’t the only—”
“Stop.” She raised a hand. “You don’t know any of that. You only know that I was dying and now I’m okay. How would you feel?”
“Happy.”
“But I hadn’t decided that I want to be a vampire, Ben. It’s a big decision, and I hadn’t decided yet.”
“Haven’t decided is different than having your wishes overruled.”
Chloe blinked shine from her eyes. “Gavin’s right. You expect a hell of a lot from her.”
“Yeah, I did.” He woke his tablet. “Guess she’s not the person I thought she was.”
“That might be truer than you know.” She opened her laptop. “I’m forwarding an email Tenzin sent me about the Corsican gang. Also, she wants to meet you at the club at ten if you have time.”
“Radu’s club?”
“No, the one here.” She pointed down. “I think she may already be here.”
“And yet she didn’t barge into my room,” he muttered. “Wow, she really has changed.”
“Ben.”
