Page 51 of Dawn Caravan
And I just serenaded them with Louis Armstrong classics.“Okay, better question, whydidn’tyou kill them?”
“I thought your uncle was overreacting. And he’ll admit he was now. Juvan helped Lorenzo kidnap Beatrice years ago. He lent some of his men to Lorenzo when they went to Houston.”
“I can see why Giovanni would be kind of pissed about that.”
“But they never had anything to do with Lorenzo’s little schemes,” Tenzin said. “They were work for hire. Your uncle sees that now.”
“And that made a difference to him?”
“Of course. Don’t forget that your uncle was an assassin too. For many years, he didn’t have much of a conscience. He had rules, but not a conscience.”
Ben tasted bitterness in the back of his throat. “So that’s going to be me eventually?”
Tenzin looked genuinely baffled. “Why would that happen to you?”
“Don’t you lose your human morals after a while? Justify things you normally wouldn’t because you’re so… above humanity?”
Tenzin raced in front of him, stopping him on his flight path. “Why do you think that?”
“Because—”
“I do not understand this about you, Benjamin. I truly do not. Your uncle’s sire was a madman who actively killed Giovanni’s empathy for others, but he still retained a core of humanity. My early immortal life was horrible, and I…” She stared at a spot over his shoulder, her eyes piercing the darkness. “I cut off parts of myself to survive it. But that was us.”
Ben stared at her. What was she saying? Tenzin never talked about her past like this. She didn’t look back. He couldn’t remember how many times she’d told him:If I look back, I will go truly mad.
“You cut off parts of yourself to survive?” He swallowed hard. “What does that mean, Tenzin?”
She shook her head. “It means that you are not me. And you haven’t had to do that. I wouldneverhave let him take you unless I knew he had evolved. I wouldn’t have allowed it.”
“Tenzin—”
“This isn’t about Zhang. Or me. You are yourself. And I know you are angry with me, but you have to think past that now.”
“No, thisisabout you.”I don’t want to talk about me.“You want me to reveal everything when you give menothing. What do you mean, Tenzin?”
She ignored him. “Does Carwyn have a conscience? Does Beatrice?” Her face was twisted with an anger Ben had never seen before. “Think of the countless men and women of honor whom you know. Baojia. Brigid. Lucien Thrax.” She seemed to stumble a little on Lucien’s name. “Yourfriends, Benjamin.”
He felt a burning in his chest. “You were my friend.”
She looked him straight in the eyes. “I am still your friend. I will always be your friend whether you want me or not.”
She turned and flew toward shore, leaving him alone in the dark clouds, the wind cutting through his clothes and lashing his skin as a light rain began to fall around him.
* * *
Tenzin landedon the balcony of Gavin’s house in Monte Carlo. He had a top-floor apartment in a historic building with updated amenities and vampire security. It would have cost him millions and millions of dollars, or many favors.
Did Gavin have a conscience? It was slightly grey, but yes. He definitely did. He had a code of honor that he stuck to. Immortals could depend on him. And while some high-minded philosophers like Carwyn didn’t approve of Gavin’s policies, his safe spaces allowed many disputes to be resolved without blood or collateral damage. That was a valuable service to vampires and humans both.
Gavin Wallace wasn’t pure of heart, but he’d earned the love of a pure-hearted woman. That had to mean something.
Chloe was sitting on a lounge chair reading a book. She glanced up when Tenzin landed on the ledge. “Hey, how was your night?”
“Ben is brooding again.” Tenzin hopped down. “I do not understand him.”
“You’d be bored if you did.” Chloe turned a page. “What now?”
“Why does he think becoming a vampire is a recipe for inhumanity? Why does he think he’s going to become some kind of monster?”
