Page 62 of Dawn Caravan
Tenzin closed her eyes and let her mouth fall open. Her fangs were long and curving. They never retreated; she couldn’t hide like Ben could.
“What else did you lose?” he asked quietly.
“Peace.”
In that, at least, they were the same.
“I can’t give that to you,” Ben said.I’m still looking for my own.
“I know.” Tenzin opened her eyes. “It’s not your job.”
I miss you.
You’re the other half of me.
You broke my heart, and I don’t know how to forgive you.
Ben swallowed the words he wanted to say. “Tell me about this new life.”
“Are you sure? This really isn’t business.”
“Just tell me.”
Tenzin took a few steps back and hopped on the bed. “Chloe calls them my New Year’s resolutions.”
The corner of his mouth turned up. “Is this some kind of self-improvement thing?”
She cocked her head. “Not yet. Right now I’m just trying to find the dead parts.”
A low, silent part of his heart screamed. “Dead parts?”
She didn’t say anything.
“This is what you were talking about before, isn’t it? The parts of yourself you had to cut off to survive.”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to tell me?”
She smiled a little. “Why would I do that?”
“You were my best friend for ten years, Tenzin.”
“Exactly. Why would I do that to my best friend?”
“Talking—”
“Saying something aloud doesn’t make it more or less horrible. I know that talking is helpful to some people, but it’s really not useful for me.” She leaned back. “It’s nothing personal. If I felt like it was useful, I would tell you.”
“Have you ever told anyone?”
She was clearly struggling with how much to tell him. Ben dragged a chair over and sat. He didn’t say anything; he just waited.
“Beatrice knows the basics. I told Nima some things before she died.”
“Why?”
“She was dying and she asked me to tell her. So I told her a story. It was for her, not for me.”
