Page 32 of Sweet
“Like your parents.”
“Yeah.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I promised my dad, but I only made it a few months after he died.” He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “I was… pissed. Angry at the world. And my mom was working out of the house, cleaning big fancy places and then getting half the money she was supposed to get.”
“Why?” Daisy asked. “People just stole from her?”
“She was legal but she was a widow, didn’t speak much English. She used to…” Spider coughed and blinked hard. “I was embarrassed by her. After my dad died and she had to work cleaning houses, I thought… she was embarrassing.”
Daisy squeezed his hand. “You were thirteen. Every kid thinks his mom is embarrassing when they’re thirteen.”
“I went looking for them, you know? Chino’s crew. I knew who they were, and some of the kids in his gang who were just a little older than me? They hadmoney. I would see them with a couple hundred bucks sometimes. Which to me at the time? Oh my God, princesa, that was like a fortune.”
“You wanted to have money. That’s normal, Spider.”
“I was Manuel then.” He smiled at the memory of his father saying his name. “I was named after my grandfather. Sometimes my dad called me Manito.”
“Did the gang…? Did they make you change your name?”
“No.” He’d been the one to change it; he’d been the one to kill that part of himself. “I didn’t want… My mother called me Manuel. I didn’t want Chino calling me the same thing.”
She had both his hands in hers now. “That makes sense. Also, you have a giant spider tattooed on your head.”
“I got that when I was fifteen.” Spider looked up. “But the name came first. I thought it was funny, you know? I had a book about spiders when I was a kid, one of those picture books. And I remember reading how spiders were the helpers of the animal kingdom. They ate bugs and shit. But, like, everyone is scared of them even though most of them aren’t poisonous. They’re these nice, shy bugs that everyone thinks are killers.”
“But they really aren’t dangerous at all.” Daisy’s eyes were shining. “What made you leave LA?”
He’d talked around it before, but he’d never admitted the truth to her. “My mom got killed by a bullet meant for me. She died because these guys were coming after Chino’s crew. Everyone, even their little shit of a tattoo artist.” He blinked. “My mom died because of me.”
The truth landed between them with a silent thud. Spider took a deep breath and tried to think through the pain.
Losing his dad.
Losing his mother.
Losing Daisy.
Life had taken his dad from him, but the other two were on him. He never should have risked his mother’s life by joining Chino’s crew. He never should have allowed himself to get close to Daisy when he knew what kind of past he had.
“Spider.” Daisy’s voice broke through his self-loathing. “I don’t want you to go down south.”
“I’m not going to.” He leaned toward her. “But that’s why I have to leave Metlin. Chino knows I’m here. He told me tonight that I’m still in his crew, that we’re family. He kept saying it over and over again, calling me brother, talking about my future. He left for now, but he’ll be back.”
“You don’t have any future with him.”
He squeezed her hands. “I know that. I promise I do. I’m not going back, but I can’t stay here.”
Her breath hitched. “Why not?”
“Because he’ll come after me,” Spider whispered. “He’s playing nice right now, playing the forgiving big brother. But when he looks at me, he sees money, and he’s not gonna forget about that. That’s profit out of his pocket.”
“Can you go to the co—?”
He put a finger on her lips. “Don’t even finish saying that. I’ll be dead, Daisy. I’ll just be dead if I do that.”
She looked around his spare apartment, at the duffel bag and the spot where his prayer card used to be. At the precious little Christmas tree she’d set up. It was the one time Spider had ever wished he owned a camera. He wanted a fucking picture of that tree before he left.
I love you so fucking much.
He wanted to tell her, but he shouldn’t. That would be a shitty thing to do when he’d just told her he was leaving.
