Page 79 of Demons and Debts
I feel like this is a game, but, as usual, I don't understand the rules.
‘Yes,’ I say.
His eyebrows rise.
‘I have!’ I say, just a little bit defensive.
He sits at the edge of the bed and his eyes look into mine.
‘How many times?’
I give him a look. ‘How many times haveyou?’
‘Four thousand, six hundred and three.’
My mouth drops open. ‘You kept count?’
‘No, I’m fucking with you.’
‘Oh,’ I chuckle.
‘Are you going to tell me?’
I wince a little. ‘Once.’
I can feel his power rise up, flitting over my skin. It’s the same as I felt on those guys last night, but his isdifferentand I feel myself leaning in towards him even though my mind feels clear. He doesn’t move. It’s as if he’s waiting for something.
‘Do youhaveto lull me?’ I ask, unable to keep the trepidation out of my voice. ‘To feed, I mean?’
The power disappears and he answers me readily. ‘I don'tneedto, no,’ he says, taking a piece of my hair and putting it behind my ear. ‘We do it that way because it's faster when we’re hungry and because it's meant to be more pleasurable for the human. It takes the fear away as well.’
‘I'm all for that in theory,’ I mutter, ‘but I don’t want—’
My voice leaves me as he sits on the bed and climbs over me slowly.
‘Then I won’t,’ he murmurs.
He’s still on top of the blanket that’s half covering me and he’s not even touching me, but I freeze because I don't really know what I'm supposed to do now.
I thought I would be in the middle of the lull. I thought I'd be oblivious to everything except pleasure. That’s what it said on the box, but I'm completely in the here and now, awkward as usual. I mean I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I don’t want to be brainwashed to have sex no matter how pleasurable it’s supposed to be, but also …
‘Can we just get it over with?’ I ask, trying to make my body soften, but it won’t. Every muscle is locked up tight.
He frowns and I stare down at the comforter, wishing I could sink into the mattress.
‘Did something … happen before?’ he asks carefully, and I try to figure out what he means, realizing all at once what he’s asking.
‘Oh, no,’ I say. ‘He didn't rape me or anything.’
‘He?’ Vic doesn’t move, his hands on the bed on either side of me, still not touching me at all.
‘Yeah, he was a guy. I haven’t tried it with another girl.’
I see his Adam’s apple bob.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ His voice sounds strained.
I shrug. ‘If you want. I’m not adverse to being with another girl I don’t think, but it’d have to be the right …’ I look at him and see his lips are turning upwards. He’s struggling not to smile. He’s amused by me.
