Page 88 of Demons and Debts
I’m hit by the realization that the only female I want is upstairs and I'll be fucking damned if I start pussyfooting around, trying to curry her favor so she chooses me.
I can't help myself but maybe I can help them even if I can’t feed from them.
‘I'll bring you something to ease the symptoms,’ I say.
‘You didn't come down here to feed?’ she asks, and tears are actually coming to her eyes.
‘I'm sorry,’ I say. ‘I'm a danger to all of you.’
‘Bullshit,’ she says. ‘Now the new girl’s here none of you want anything to do with us? What the fuck?’
‘I don't have an answer for you,’ I say. ‘but I can get you something that will help.’
‘Fucking do it then,’ Monique hisses from the couch, and I raise my eyebrows.
She must be very out of sorts if she's talking to one of the Iron I’s like that. She's usually the one who's the meekest.
I go back upstairs, thinking that I’ll need to make a call to Stan to have him take a special trip to one of the fae markets. I wasn't lying. There are ways for them to get over this that don't involve us feeding from them, but I hadn't actually realized that they hadn't been called lately. That's something I should know being the Club lieutenant. I've dropped the ball again.
I get back to the games room. Jane’s laughing next to Paris and it's the first time I've heard her having fun. I inadvertently think that she's got a nice laugh. It soundsreal. My gaze falls to her and, from my periphery I see the others in the room doing the same.
I turn, stalking out of the room to Vic's office. I knock and don't bother to wait for an answer as I walk inside.
‘The on-call girls are going through withdrawal,’ I say.
Vic looks surprised. ‘None of us have been feeding from them? I thought it was just me.’
‘So did I,’ I say. ‘I should have realized.’
‘Are they okay?’
‘Not really, but I’ll call Stan to pick up some of those fae potions asap. They’ll be right as rain in a day or two and it should keep them going until they’re needed again.’
Vic nods absently, not saying anything else. He goes back to whatever he's doing, waving me out.
I decide to go back up to my room, and I pass the games room on the way up. I can't help but glance in at her. She's still sitting with Paris, but she looks lost in thought. She's not smiling or laughing anymore. Her eyes find mine. Guileless. I wonder again how long she's going to last here as I tear my eyes away and make myself leave, refusing to be a puppy following on her heels.
I go back up to my dark room. I let my glamour down and stretch, staring at myself in the mirror. I look like shit.
I look starved.
My physique is thinner, and I feel weaker. Maybe I should have fed from the girls downstairs, but I know who I’d rather have bouncing on my cock while I taste her lust and even thinking of her makes my dick lengthen.
I tear off my clothes and get in the shower, blasting the cold water, afraid of what I might do in this state if I come across her in the house without one of the others around to stop me.
What the hell was Vic thinking contracting her in the first place?
The frigid water does nothing, and when I step out of the shower, I still have a problem that I need to take care of if I want to sleep.
* * *
Jane
It's surreal.That's the only way I can put it. Since Vic's little ultimatum, giving me five days to choose the weapon of my fate, Paris, Theo and even Korban have been nicer to me. They smile at me when they pass me in the hallway, teach me to play videogames …eat me out in my bedroom. I mean that was only the one time … But even though Theo left angry, when I saw him later, he pretended nothing had happened, like he’d never been mad, like he’d never even had his head between my legs.
I still don’t know what to think about what happened. I don’t feel violated, but maybe that’s because of how my brain works. But they shouldn’t get away with taking advantage of me just because I don’t have the same reactions that another human might. But maybe it wasn’t like that. I’m so confused.
When I came downstairs for breakfast this morning, Theo was already in the kitchen. He told me he'd gotten three boxes of the good cereal delivered just for me. I had two bowls and he didn't bat an eye.
