Page 139 of Fear the Flames
“We’re in a fight.” My emotions ping pong between devastated and venomous with brief moments of calmness. The events of tonight weigh on me like a thousand bricks are tied around my ankles. “And I don’t forgive you yet.” My lips wobble. He looks like he’s going to explode. “But I really want you to hold me for a few seconds.”
He springs forward, enveloping me in a hug that makes me feel like I have a brief reprieve from the world. One of his hands slides into my tangled hair, pressing my face into his neck, and the other holds me securely against him. Tears silently fall from my eyes and soak his shirt, mixing with the blood that’s already there. My eyes glance at us in the mirror above my fireplace while Cayden’s eyes slip shut. The pair of us are drenched in blood, and I feel like he’s driven a wedge into my heart, but he’s also the only one who can take it out.
“I’m going to make it up to you, angel, I promise,” he whispers into my hair while holding me like he’s scared I’ll evaporate into thin air.
I grit my teeth and don’t bother wiping my tears away as I push myself out of his hold. That’s all I’m allowing myself. He needs to learn that I won’t run back to him after he does something like this; I deserve more than that. I haven’t hidden a single thing from him. I’ve worked at talking to him more. I need him to know that this isn’t something I’ll brush under the rug just because his arms make me feel whole again. I’d rather be broken and respected than loved and affronted.
“I want to be alone.” I need to figure my head out for myself, too much is piling on top of me at once, and I just need to be alone with my thoughts, even if they’ll torture me. If it gets to be too much, then I’ll find Finnian, but I refuse to spend the night with Cayden when it’s the same night he hurt me—even if it isn’t as bad as Eagor made it seem.
“Are you sure you don’t want Finnian to stay with you?” he asks in a low tone, drenched in resignation and defeat. I know he wants to stay with me, but he knows not to push me right now. However, I have a feeling he would sleep on my floor if his room wasn’t attached to mine.
“You will not be the judge of what’s best for me right now. I’ll see you in the morning for our engagement announcement.” I turn away from him, ripping a nightgown from my closet and walking over to my bathing chamber. I pause before shutting the door, “You said you enjoy challenges,fiancé.” Life sparks behind his defeated eyes. “Consider me your greatest challenge. Tonight you said you’re not a forgiving person, but I am far less forgiving than you, soldier,” I add before slamming the door shut.
ChapterFifty-Six
The familiar pull in my chest drags my mind from its drowsy state. I haven’t been able to fall asleep, no matter how much my body craves it. I keep thinking I’ll have to relive the moment I watched Ailliard fall to the ground if I close my eyes. Cayden left the door between our rooms open, and I’m sure he has heard me shuffle to and from the door when my willpower grows weak, his movements still whenever I get close. I hear him rustling through papers on his desk; maybe he’s going over kingly protocol. I’ll have to start going over Vareveth’s politics tomorrow. I already know a handful, but nowhere near enough to be able to run the kingdom.
A headache already pounds against my forehead—a mixture of exhaustion and grief setting in. My throat feels raw from screaming. A maid brought tea into my room, most likely at Cayden’s request, but it sits untouched on my nightstand.
The same memories of Ailliard flash in my mind, on a constant loop of desecration. Every memory now seems murky, and they’ve become tarnished by his words. None of it was real. My entire childhood was fake. He raised me in the hopes of one day rectifying his mistake of leaving Imirath. The reason he became more lenient about me leaving Aestilian as I got older was not because he trusted me; but because he was gradually losing hope that my father would ever want me to return.
I first thought mourning someone alive and breathing would be difficult. I never thought I’d have to mourn someone that died by my hand. Why should I grieve for someone that betrayed me? But how can I ignore this gut-twisting emotion?
Golden light shines through the darkness of my room. It’s not snakes this time, but golden wisps slither into the air around me. They shoot from my palms and glide along the canopy above my bed. More gold shoots from my palms and crawls its way up my arms. I sit up in bed and stare into the mirror above my fireplace. The golden wisps have congregated around my head, crowning me in a shimmering luminescent circlet.
Come to me, Daughter of Flame.Let me stoke the embers that live within you,says a soothing voice in my head. The pull in my chest urges me to follow the voice. I have been backstabbed too many times tonight to seek any kind of counsel, this power radiates from my bones, and I trust myself. My feet meet the cold floor and pad over to the mirror. Gold wisps continue to shoot from my palms, wrap around my torso, and stretch into the space around me. The circlet shimmers on my head while it rotates in a slow circle.
I close my eyes, but instead of one pair of eyes greeting me in the darkness, I see five—my dragon’s vibrant irises openly staring back at me. No traces of hatred or animosity, just curiosity. I feel the bond flutter in my chest, and I flick my eyes open. My brown eyes have become a molten gold color to match the wisps that swirl around me.
“Elowen?” Cayden’s tentative voice comes from the space between our rooms. I turn my head to face him, and the gold wisps dance around him as he steps closer, running through his already tousled hair and swirling around his arms. His breathing hitches when he sees my golden eyes, but he doesn’t back away.
I don’t say anything before I turn away from him and walk toward my door, swinging it open. The two guards Cayden stationed outside balk in my direction and stare at me with a mixture of awe and fear. The wisps don’t reach out to them; they stay close to me.
“Y-Your Majesty?” the guard questions through his stutters.
“Step aside,” Cayden’s command comes from behind me as I glide past the guards. “Tell Finnian, Saskia, and Ryder what’s happening, and tell them to find us.”
I ignore his words and continue to glide forward. The wisps and the pull in my chest lead me toward the lake. My bare feet pad against the cool tile until I make it to the exit. The wisps grow around me, and the pull in my chest becomes stronger the closer I get. A red hooded figure stands by the lake.Come to me, Queen of Fire. You have never feared the flames, but others will fear yours,the figure whispers in my mind. The wisps stretch in her direction, and I follow them; I trust them. My feet tread on the grass, carrying me toward the hooded figure.
“Sheath your sword, King Cayden Veles. No harm will befall our queen at my hand.” The figure reaches two hands forward and removes the hood from her face, revealing a dark-skinned priestess with voluminous curls. The wind carries the spray of the waterfall toward us, but nothing can combat the warmth the wisps make me feel.
“Your queen?” Cayden inquires. His sword is still out, and the wisps swirl around his wrist and glide down his blade. I reach over and gently push his wrist down. When my skin touches his, the wisps band around us and momentarily hold our hands together before dancing away.
“I go where the flames command me, and all wind carries the flames closer to Elowen. I told you we would meet again. I am merely a catalyst to bring forth the inevitable,” the priestess says. The earth rumbles as five dragons firmly land in the earth surrounding the lake. Some stones fall from the cliffside and land in the river below us. “The bond is worn down after years of mistrust and mistreatment, and we need to mend it in order for it to fully snap in place.”
“Why do I need your help?” I ask, not out of resentment, but I’m wary of trusting anyone right now.
“Did you manage to translate the bond ceremony portion of the dragon text?” She quirks a perfectly sculpted brow. So, sheisthe priestess that we stole the book from. She never pulled her hood down when we met her, so I never saw her face.
“Fucking gods,” Saskia curses a few feet behind us.
I turn my head to check if Finnian and Ryder are also here. They are. The three of them stand a few feet behind Cayden and me in their night clothes. The gold wisps still swirl around Cayden’s wrist but don’t stretch farther than him. I turn forward when the priestess shifts closer to me. Her hand stretches toward me, stopping a few inches away. “I am the Head Priestess of the Fire Cult. I have studied the ancient lore of gods and dragons and can open the gates of the bond. You just have to do as I say.”
My eyes glance down toward her outstretched palm and then to my dragons, who wait reverently around the lake. I know I shouldn’t allow a stranger to direct me on any kind of path, but I lived half my life next to a traitor. I am more than people think I am. I wring possibilities from the impossible. I was born into a cell, and yet here I stand with my dragons as Queen of Vareveth.
I force any animosity away, and the gold surrounding me burns brighter. I listen to the bond that calls out to me, telling me to do as the priestess says. I place my hand in hers, though the gold still clings only to me. She leads me forward to the lake, wading into the cool, crisp waters as the dragons ruffle their wings.
The gold wisps that extend down to my ankles now slither through the water, reaching out in five different directions toward the dragons. When the wisps get close enough, they shoot from the water and latch on the tips of all five sets of wings. I watch, mesmerized, as the gold strands that latch onto their wings morph into the color of their eyes, creating a web of gold, red, black, purple, orange, and blue in the water. The strands shimmer and twine together, dancing and mingling beneath the moonlight.
