Page 3 of Once Marked
“Go ahead,” Riley said, “but remember - dinner in an hour.”
Jilly’s response was a blur of motion as she sprang from her chair and bounded out of the room.Riley heard her clattering up the stairs, free from the day’s academic duties.
“So,” Bill began, leaning back in his chair, “how did today really go for you?And don’t give me the ‘I’m fine’ routine.You’ve got stuff on your mind.”
Riley sighed.“Is it that obvious?”She sat down across from him, tracing the wood grain of the table, her mind warring with the logic and emotion that had always dictated her life.
“To me?Always.You’ve been restless lately, and it’s not just because April’s away at college.”
“Restless...”Riley echoed, returning to the table, the weight of the word settling over her shoulders.“That’s one way to put it.”
“Riley, we’ll figure it out.Together,” Bill said.Their years of partnership, friendship that had grown into love had woven a powerful bond.
“Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, stepping back from fieldwork,” she admitted.“I thought I needed distance, a break from all that … darkness, but now...Well, now I’m not so sure.”
“Uncertainty doesn’t suit you,” Bill remarked with a wry tilt of his head.“But, knowing you, you’ll confront it head-on when decision time comes.”
“Maybe,” she replied.“But you’re right.It’s not just about April.”
She glanced away for a moment, her eyes tracing the grain of the wood on the tabletop as if it could chart the course of her thoughts.Then she added, “I keep thinking about that case I worked on with Ann Marie Esmer a couple of weeks ago.”
“The consultant gig that turned into a full-blown investigation?”Bill asked, his tone light.
Riley nodded.“That’s just it.Working that case...it reminded me of what I’ve been missing,” she confessed.“The thrill of being in the field, the satisfaction of putting the pieces together, working with a partner...”
“So you really do miss working in the field,” Bill observed quietly, the statement neither question nor judgment—simply an open door for Riley to step through if she chose.
“I do,” Riley admitted, with an honesty that surprised even her.But she knew there was no one better to trust with these confessions than the man who had seen her at her most vulnerable.“More than I thought I would.There’s a part of me that’s been dormant, and that case...”She trailed off, lost for a moment in the recollection of adrenaline-fueled chases and mind-bending puzzles.
“And I miss working with you,” she acknowledged with a light laugh.“But Meredith has got you in charge of breaking in every rookie who is ready to take on fieldwork.”
“You said that you and Ann Marie got along fine this time.”
“That’s true,” Riley admitted.“I even miss working with Ann Marie.She took some getting used to, with that upbeat personality of hers, but we struck up a good rapport.But Ann Marie is permanently partnered with Grady Pickens now.And he’s exactly the right partner for her—seasoned, experienced, with all kinds of lessons to teach.I’m really not needed.”
Her voice held a finality, an attempt to convince herself as much as Bill.
Bill watched her from his seat, his expression unreadable.Silence stretched between them, heavy with the weight of unspoken fears and shared dreams.
“It’s foolish,” Riley mused, “to think I could go back to that life, even for a case here and there.”
“Or maybe it’s exactly what you need,” Bill suggested gently.
“Maybe,” she whispered, allowing herself the luxury of considering a future untethered from the choices of her past.A future where the thrill of the hunt could once again pulse through her veins.
“So what’s really holding you back?”Bill’s voice cut through her reverie, his question sharp and clear as the clink of ice against glass.“You’re one of the best agents the BAU has ever seen.If you wanted to get back in the field full-time, you know Chief Meredith would make it happen in a heartbeat.”
Riley shook her head, a cascade of dark hair brushing her shoulders.Her hands, usually so steady when profiling a suspect or assembling her weapon, now trembled slightly.
“It’s not that simple,” she murmured.“I have responsibilities here.My classes at the Academy, Jilly...”Her words trailed off, and she glanced toward the staircase where her daughter had disappeared moments ago.
She also remembered how that last case had led to a desperate chase through a cemetery to catch the killer and rescue his last intended victim.The aches and pains of the days that followed were a vivid reminder of the physical demands that sort of work job entailed.
“I’m not getting any younger, Bill.That last case with Ann Marie...it could have ended so much worse.I can’t keep chasing shadows into graveyards.”
“Except that it’s what you love,” Bill countered gently, his eyes locked onto hers with an intensity that always seemed to see right through her.“Riley, I’ve known you long enough to see when you’re not content.Teaching is important, and you’re damn good at it.But it’s not enough for you, is it?”
She gazed back at him.In his eyes, she found an unspoken conversation, one that spoke of years of shared struggles and triumphs.
