Page 53 of Saddle Studs
“You did?” I replayed that phone call back in my head. The line had cut when she was speaking.
“Yes, hun. I was just speaking more along the lines of the fact that you never gave us any trouble. You were great in school, worked hard at your job, had good friends. That’s what I was saying. I do hate how being gay was an obstacle for that boy at church. And… it’s made me really think a lot about my relationship with the church, if I’m being honest. I still have some searching to do, but please, Sammy, know this: I wouldnever reject you. Never judge you. I will always love you. You are my son, my heart, my love. You will always be my son. And I will fight anyone who gives you any trouble.”
I didn’t realize I was crying until I wiped a tear from my jaw.
“Thank you,” I said, voice small but steady. “That means everything to me, Mom. Also please don’t fight anyone.”
“You know me and your dad have been doing Pilates together. I’m in fighting shape!”
That got a chuckle out of me. “Still, no fighting. Let whatever bigots and hateful trolls say what they want. I’ve already got all the support, validation, and love I need.”
“And you’ll always have it. Don’t be nervous about your father, either. When I spoke to him that last time, he even said he’d be proud to have a gay—or bi—son. And you know he is nowhere near as involved with the church as me.”
That lifted an unseen weight off my shoulders. I’d been more nervous coming out to my mom than my dad, who’d always had a “go with the flow, love everyone” kind of attitude.
“Thank you, Mom. I love you with all my heart.”
“And I love you too, Sammy. With all?—“
Then, like some cruel punctuation mark, the call dropped. Damn Johnson Springs service.
Still, I didn’t need her to say anything else. I heard it and I felt it. She loved me and she accepted me.
That’s all I needed.
By the time Benny came out to the porch in his boots and hat, looking hot as ever and ready for the race, I was smiling so wide it hurt.
“Everything good?” he asked.
I nodded. “Everything’s great.” I walked up to him and kissed him full on the mouth, out in the open. Not caring who saw.
“I just came out to my mom.”
“You did?! Holy cow, congratulations! It is a congratulations, right?”
“It is. She was amazing, I don’t know why I was ever scared in the first place.”
Benny cocked his head, eyes radiating joy. “Because coming out is a scary process. It’s revealing a part of yourself that could easily get skewered by the people you love the most. It shouldn’t even be athing, obviously. There shouldn’t be a need to say ‘Hey, these are the kinds of people I like to be with.’ It just be accepted point-blank. You bring a girl to family event, ‘Cool, what’s her name?’ You bring a guy to family events, ‘Cool, what’s his name?’ It’s that simple, but this world—it runs on complications. And maybe Dunkin’.” Benny gave me a wink and another kiss, filling my heart and lungs with a flurry of butterflies.
That’s when the words drifted out of me, carried on the wings of those very same glittery butterflies. Words that weren’t complicated or difficult to say at all. “I love you, Benny. I’m so happy I came back to Rainbow Ranch. I’m so happy I got this second chance. I’m so happy I got my cowboy.”
Benny blinked a couple times, as if his processor had malfunctioned and he was restarting his system.
“Sam… I love you, too. I’ve never stopped loving you. And I’m so glad I can keep loving you.”
This,thiswas the definition of true happiness. Of rainbow-hued freedom. My future went from being miserable and stormy to a rolling green field of daisies and tulips.
Pure fucking happiness.
“Hey, you two, get a room!” It was Pris. She rolled a cooler behind her, toward Benny’s truck. “But at least wait until after the race is done.”
Benny and I both laughed. I felt my cheeks warming. I went to help Pris load up the truck. It didn’t take us much longer before everything was packed up.
On the way to the race, another bomb was dropped. This one coming from Boone, who sat in the back seat with an arm around Wylie. “You know, I’m really glad you stayed, Sam. You being around has made Benny’s cooking out of this world. He’s going to give me competition for my buns.”
“Your buns are in a league of their own,” Wylie said in his gruff, lumberjack voice.
“Seriously, though, I’m happy we never told you that will was fake. You may have run off.”
