Page 10 of The Life Experiment
The expression on Saira’s face told Layla that, in this instance, she might have been wrong about that.
‘In the friendship section, you marked yourself as a nine out of ten in most aspects, yet in your preliminary application you mentioned you didn’t have time for friendship.’
The memory of Layla’s early interactions with OPM Discoveries burned her cheeks. She had been angry when the first questionnaire came through. Working late, yet again, had made her bitter. Resentful, even. Outing herself as a loser hadn’t seemed like a big deal, but Layla didn’t know how much she would want to be part of the study back then.
Saira scrolled to another question. ‘Here, when asked to score your sense of humour, you put eight out of ten, yet you left the name ofyour favourite comedy show blank. Now, I don’t believe television habits indicate personality, but most people can think of one show they laugh at.’
Layla flushed. ‘I mustn’t have seen the question.’
‘But someone who scores ten out of ten for detail orientation would.’
Layla hung her head. She had never been caught out like this, mostly because giving people answers she thought they wanted to hear had never been a bad thing before.
Reading her distress, Saira continued. ‘Layla, these answers are yours and yours alone. Only you can rate yourself, but when analysed they could be interpreted as disingenuous. As the person in charge of this study, that worries me. For our work to have the impact it needs to, we can’t have inaccuracies in our recording. With that in mind, I need to ask if you would describe your responses as honest?’
Layla bit her lip. ‘I suppose I could’ve been more open about my flaws. I was trying to impress you.’
Leaning forward, Saira pierced Layla with the intensity of her stare. ‘Layla, you are impressive exactly as you are. I hope you know that.’
Out of nowhere, a lump appeared in Layla’s throat. She tried to swallow it, but it wouldn’t budge.
While her parents simmered with pride over all she had achieved, no one else had ever called Layla impressive before, and definitely not impressive as she was. She was, at her core, the definition of a work in progress. Someone who had great potential if she dared to use it. Someone who could break free of the poverty she had grown up in and soar, but only if she worked hard enough.
From school to university to Mayweather & Halliwell, Layla had pushed and pushed. There was always another assessment to complete, another task to tick off, another goal to chase. Never the opportunity to appreciate who she was at that moment.
Saira’s features softened. ‘You don’t see yourself for all the wonderful things you are, do you?’
‘Not really,’ Layla admitted, surprised at how emotional the confession made her. ‘At work, I’m the kid from Hull they let into the building. When I go home, I’m the girl who abandoned everyone to make something of herself. I guess I don’t fit anywhere.’
‘I see. What does fitting look like to you?’
Layla pondered the question for a moment before replying. ‘I suppose fitting means being at peace. Belonging in the place you are, and within yourself too.’
‘Have you reached a place of peace within yourself?’
Saira’s question earned a laugh from Layla. ‘Has anyone?’
‘Believe it or not, they have. There is always more for a person to do, more to learn, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be at peace with who you are along the way.’
‘I don’t know what peace looks like for me,’ Layla admitted, chewing her lip. ‘I know I don’t want to struggle like I did growing up, but I’m not sure what I’m doing now is what I want either. I guess… I guess I don’t know what I want.’
Saira leaned closer. ‘Shall I let you in on a secret, Layla? Not many people do.’
The first genuine smile of the day graced Layla’s lips.
‘I mean it when I say you are incredible. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t,’ Saira continued, ‘but this study requires complete trust in participants. To have that, we need honesty. We need to know how participants are feeling and what they are thinking. There is no room for error. It could be the difference between life and death.’
Beneath her shirt, Layla’s heart began to thud. ‘What is the purpose of this study, exactly? And before you say it will be revealed to accepted candidates, I think after weeks of tests and time I deserve to know. Being honest works both ways.’
Saira paused, then nodded. ‘You’re right, it does. I haven’t practised my delivery of this yet, so forgive me if I’m a little blunt, but the truth is we believe we have found a way to determine when someone is going to die.’
Layla, usually never short for words, couldn’t find any.
The corners of Saira’s mouth flicked upwards. ‘It’s a lot to wrap your head around, I know, but it’s true. We believe we have found a way to determine when someone is going to die, and in some cases, how.’
Layla’s forehead creased. ‘I… How… Is this for real?’
‘It might sound like a fantasy, but I promise it’s not. You’ve completed the tasks so far, Layla. You’re a smart woman. Would we collate so much information if we didn’t need to?’
