Page 30 of The Life Experiment
‘Well, the way I see it, a series of lifeless days surely equates to one really bad one.’
‘I don’t know,’ Layla said, her tone teasing. ‘Rules are rules…’
‘What if I argue my case?’
Layla laughed. ‘All right then. Convince me your sadness qualifies.’
Filling his lungs, Angus began. ‘I wake up every day not knowing who I am. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding working it out becauseI’m scared I won’t like who that person is, but I’m tired of being scared.’
Angus trailed off and looked up at the sky. A sea of stars dotted in inky blackness stared back, witnessing him bearing his deepest, darkest thoughts. Angus wondered how many people throughout history had been in the same position as him. Lost, lonely and looking to the sky for answers.
‘I can’t do it anymore,’ Angus admitted. ‘I can’t follow this path, waiting for things to get worse while knowing you’re only a phone call away. I’m ready for change, you see, and I think you might be part of that. I know it sounds crazy to think that about a person I barely know, but I’ve spent so many years not listening to my gut. It’s time I listened to it. Right now, it’s saying I want to talk to you. A lot.’ The words left Angus’s mouth before he had time to think about how intense they might sound to someone he had only met once. Cringing, he scuffed the toe of his shoe across the cobbled ground. ‘And I want to change too, of course. Be a better man,’ he added for good measure.
‘Me and change,’ Layla replied slowly. ‘Well, they’re two great things.’
Angus couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I’m glad you agree. I’m also glad my ramblings haven’t terrified you.’
‘How could they? Do you not remember how odd I was when we met?’ Layla joked, then she let out a sigh that fluttered through Angus’s chest. ‘Angus, this call? Every thought that’s come tumbling out of your head? They’re the first things I’ve heard in a long time that make any sense to me.’
‘Really?’
‘Really.’ When Layla next spoke, her voice was soft like she was about to share a secret. ‘Do you want to know what my gut is saying to me?’
‘What?’
‘It’s saying that talking to you is exactly what I need to do too.’
Closing his eyes, Angus soaked in those words until the promise of what tomorrow might bring lit him up from the inside.
15Layla
The Life Experiment: Daily Questionnaire
Property of OPM Discoveries
How would you rate your level of contentment today? (1 represents low contentment, 10 represents high)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
How would you rate your energy level? (1 being very low energy and 10 being very high energy)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
What are two things you are grateful for today?
My family not asking a million questions about why I’m home
Impromptu phone calls
What are you struggling with today?
The fact that I am going to die just as my life starts to get interesting
Do you have any additional notes on what you would like to discuss in your upcoming counselling session?
Why I feel so different in Hull compared to London
Layla knew that someone was watching her before she even opened her eyes. She could feel the intensity of their stare and hear their gentle breathing. Silencing her weary body’s pleas for more sleep, she peeled her swollen eyes apart.
