Page 51 of The Life Experiment
‘I am sorry for your loss,’ Aleksander replied. ‘That’s life, or so they tell me. Knowing that never makes it easier, does it?’
‘No, it doesn’t.’
‘Sometimes that time feels like it was all a dream,’ Aleksander said as he reached for a new bag to fill. ‘I came to England alone at sixteen to build a better life. I never thought one day I would have a sick child, or that I would raise her on my own. I had no family support, no one to help with money, no one to tell me things would get better.’
Angus’s eyebrows raised. ‘How did you do it?’
‘Do what?’
‘Well,’ Angus began, his mind whirring. ‘If you were a single parent with no family, how could you be with Mia? Who looked after her when she was sick and you had to work?’
Aleksander smiled ruefully. ‘It was tough, my friend. Back then, I lived in Scarborough, not London. The hospital near us didn’t have a children’s cancer ward. We had to commute to the one in Leeds, an hour and a half there and back. Money was tight. Some weeks I worried I couldn’t pay for the petrol to get there, but my boss was a good man. He gave me time off and extra work when he could.It was hard, though. All I ever worried about was money. It’s not what a father should think about when his little girl is sick.’
Aleksander lost himself in packing another bag, holding a stick of pink glitter for a moment longer than necessary.
‘Mia always says that her cancer went into remission, but my worry never did. It’s true, I think. When something like that happens to someone you love, you don’t forget. You can’t, can you?’ The bright blue of Aleksander’s eyes glinted when he looked at Angus. The spark dared him to be brave.
‘My brother Hugo,’ Angus began, clearing his throat. ‘We lost him when I was eleven. In a way, it feels like I’m here for him. It’s silly, really. He didn’t die of cancer. He drowned. But there’s something about the families here. The feel of the place. I don’t know why, but it helps.’
‘Grief needs no labels. It follows no rules. If Haven is where you heal, then it’s where you need to be. We all know sadness here. We know loss. That’s why we come – so that the living know to remember, and the dying know we won’t forget.’
Struck by the importance of those words, a sudden, unexpected sense of urgency overcame Angus.This is it, he thought.This is the crossroads.
What came next, Angus didn’t know. The path was still hazy, but one thing was clear – fate was calling. This time, Angus knew he would answer.
23Layla
Jayden’s bed looked less welcoming now it was stripped of the sheets Layla had been using. The room looked less inviting too. Gone were Layla’s trinkets – her necklace on the bedside table, her moisturiser beside it. In their absence, the room transformed back into a space that belonged to a four-year-old boy.
‘You can do this,’ Saira said during their last counselling session. ‘You are ready to return to London.’
Exhaling a wobbly breath, Layla plucked her bag from the bed and left the room. Closing the door gently behind her, Layla drew a line under her time in Hull.
‘Are you ready, kiddo?’ her dad asked when she made it downstairs.
‘Pretty much,’ Layla replied, but her mum shook her head.
‘You’re not going anywhere without a packed lunch,’ she said, jumping up from the sofa.
‘Mum, you don’t have to,’ Layla protested.
‘She already has,’ David replied, switching off the TV. Gripping the edge of his armchair, David hauled himself to his feet. A grimace betrayed his pain, but Joanna was back before Layla could comment on it.
‘It’s only a cheese sandwich, but it should last you until you get to London. Do you want me to make extra? You could take them to work tomorrow, if you’d like.’
Layla wanted to smile at Joanna’s fussing, but her lips wouldn’t comply. The idea of being back in London in a few hours was overwhelming enough; the thought of returning to work the following day was something else entirely.
But the decision to go back had been made. Maya gave Layla the first nudge, Saira the second. ‘Life must continue, Layla,’ she said. ‘What that looks like is for you to decide, but it all starts with facing what you had before. Your family have provided the healing space you needed. Now it’s time to stand on your own again.’
Layla didn’t know how stable her footing was anymore, but with her bag packed and a train ticket booked, she knew she had to try.
Besides, her brain pointed out,once you’re back, you’ll see Angus.
Layla’s stomach jittered as she thought of their earlier messages.
I can’t believe we’re going to be in the same
city again soon.
