Page 79 of The Life Experiment
Layla opened her mouth to ask if disliking his job was the reason for Angus’s quietness, but then he beamed. ‘Modem Man,’ he said. ‘That would be my superhero name. After all, who doesn’t love alliteration?’
‘Modem Man sounds like he would have useless powers.’
‘Oh, he would be a very boring, very useless superhero. Not on posters in anyone’s bedroom, that’s for sure. You, on the other hand, would be on a poster in mine.’
‘Did you mean for that to sound creepy?’ Layla teased, trying to hide her delighted blush as best she could. ‘Anyway, stop being so nice to me. I’m only trying to improve conditions at Mayweather & Halli-well. It’s hardly changing the world,’ she dismissed, but Angus shook his head.
‘Don’t diminish what you’re doing, Layla. It’s important. No one can change the entire world, but we can make our corner of it better. Not many people try to do that, but you are. It’s impressive.’
Layla chewed her dinner while mulling over Angus’s response. ‘I’ve never thought of it like that before.’
‘Well, maybe think about it like that from now on. Be proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you.’
Layla beamed. She couldn’t help it. Sure, having a man compliment her looks was nice, but compliments about her brain? Her drive? Well, they meant the world. They meant that Angus really, truly saw her.
The truth was, Laylawasproud of herself. More than that, she was finally finding work interesting. Michelle had taken Layla under her wing, and Layla could feel herself thriving there. She was learninghow to be a better lawyer and leader. She was growing and evolving. Understanding when to ask questions, when to listen, and when to use her voice.
Things with the project were going well too. Layla and Michelle had consulted with staff across Mayweather & Halliwell about their work–life balance and the changes they wanted to see. That morning, they had booked their first meeting with the Senior Partners to discuss the feedback and their ideas.
‘Change is coming, Layla. I can feel it,’ Michelle said as they pressed send on the invite. Layla knew exactly what Michelle meant. She felt it every morning when she woke up. Getting out of bed had never been easier. Even commuting was less hellish.
‘I wish I was more like you, you know,’ Angus said after taking a sip of wine. ‘You’re amazing. You don’t wallow or wait or talk yourself out of things. You know your worth. You’re ambitious.’
Instinct made Layla wince. Life had been cruel in teaching her the lesson that being labelled ‘ambitious’ was usually anything but a compliment. Years of working in a corporate field had shown Layla that she could work hard and aim high, yes, but be seen as ambitious? Absolutely not. When describing her male colleagues, the word connoted drive and passion. When describing her, it was an insult. An ambitious woman was ruthless and single-minded. She was hard. Unlikable. Difficult.
And there Angus was, putting that label on her. As if reading her mind, he cocked his head. ‘You don’t like being called ambitious?’
‘Not really,’ Layla admitted. ‘I know it’s what I am, but I don’t love the way it’s been used to describe me. It’s never been said with the most positive intention.’
‘Well,’ Angus began, his fingers brushing the stem of his wineglass and throwing Layla’s thoughts to his hand on her wrist in the kitchen. ‘WhenIcall you ambitious, I mean it as the highest compliment. I mean it to describe a hard-working, determined and intelligent person. Someone I want to know inside and out.’
‘You want to know me inside and out?’ Layla replied, doing her best to ignore the thumping of her heart in her ears.
Across the table, Angus held her gaze. ‘Absolutely.’
At that confession, something in Layla’s gut kicked.Tell him, it screamed.Tell him you’ll die in two years!
The idea of waiting until the end of the experiment to tell anyone, especially Angus, seemed impossible. Worse than that, it seemed wrong. Every moment they spent together felt precarious, like it was teetering on a tower of lies.
Layla looked across the table at Angus. ‘I…’ she began.
I’m dying.
I’m falling for you.
I’m dying.
I’m falling for you.
Both things were true. Both needed to be said. But dread tightened Layla’s throat. As Angus’s gaze flooded with desire, Layla made her choice. ‘I’ll get more wine,’ she said before rushing from the table.
In the kitchen, Layla leaned her forehead against the fridge and closed her eyes. She tried to tell herself she hadn’t said anything about her impending death because telling Angus meant opening herself up to a potential lawsuit, but Layla knew the real reason for her silence. Telling Angus meant losing him. And as ambitious and brave as she was, that was something Layla couldn’t risk.
36Angus
Potential logos for Hugo’s House were spread across Angus’s dining table, but he couldn’t decide which one felt right. There was something slightly off about each design. A line that didn’t sit right or an illustration that appeared too cartoonish.
Or maybe the fear of choosing the wrong one is getting to you, Angus’s brain chimed. The voice in his head sounded a lot like Saira’s. Angus smiled at the fact that she was cutting through his bullshit, even in his imagination.
