Page 37 of The Tainted and the Tamed
“You’re speaking of your position here—of whether I belong to someone. You’re speaking of your family. You don’t want to lose your position or any of your dignity. You want to remind me that you have a family to answer to, that I would answer to them as well.”
She touched a strand at the edge of her forehead. “I’m not sure I meantallof that.”
But Haruki was. He stepped close enough to hear her rapid breaths—so that the sound of them and her beating heart drowned out all else.
“I’ll never command anything of you, only ask it. I won’t compromise your dignity.”
She tipped her chin up to face him, her small, round face so like the full moon in his garden that night. It quivered a little. “I don’t know how much time I have left.”
“I can give you all the time you want.”
The moment it left his mouth, he knew it was a mistake. Haruki took a sharp step back, his eyes widening. What had he just done?
But her hand touched his sleeve, a reassuring pressure. “No,” she said, “you can’t. No matter how good a physician you keep, there is a limit to what can be done. I won’t have a long life—I may not even live much longer than this. But if you can promise me I won’t leave this world in dire want or indignity because of this—whatever will happen between us—then I won’t waste any more time.”
Just as before, she stood up on the front of her geta, straining to reach him. Her upturned face was so full of hope—and of a familiar desperation.
Mortals, vampires—they all just want to be loved.
Once again, Haruki’s fingers coiled around her chin, his lips descending towards hers. He tasted the sweetness of apples on them, and within that, the bittersweetness of the last weeks of harvest.
It was chaste, this first kiss between them. But heat flared to life in him, demanding more. He grasped her wrist, leading her into the privacy of the gap between buildings, guiding her back up against a wall.
A soft thunk barely earned his notice. As he crushed his lips against hers, his tongue tangling with hers inside her mouth, the apple fell from her hand. Moments later, he discarded the one he held, the better to embrace her with.
Murasaki gasped when he withdrew his lips, her chest heaving.
“Return to the castle with me,” he said.
Breathless, her lips still parted, she nodded a fervid yes.
Haruki took her by the hand.
Chapter 18
Murasaki
He was mesmerizing. The entire walk back to Fusae Castle, Murasaki couldn’t take her eyes off him—from the dark silk on his broad back when she lagged behind him on the steeper hills, from his hand enveloping hers, from the lines of his face whenever they passed beneath a lantern, or when the moon peered from behind the clouds. Her chest burned, and she was breathless, but she could not stop herself from moving forward.
She never thought she’d feel this way again. Not in this lifetime. But were she to be honest with herself, Murasaki would know she’d never truly felt this way before.
This was what had her truly intoxicated. This feeling—this patter of her racing heart—was an entirely different experience from the love she’d known before. Did the flame of one burn hotter? Did it warm her more than it singed her? She could not say. She did not care.
Murasaki’s only thought was to stay near to him. She wanted to hold more of him than just his firmly gripping hand in hers. To pull him closer to her—
They were back at Fusae’s towering doors sooner than she ever would’ve imagined. Even as she fought to catch her breath, she felt as if they’d flown there.
“Are you alright?” Haruki asked as he pushed open the inner door. Inside the gardens, flames in the stone lanterns lining the path cast peculiar shadows. The entire gravel walkway was lit, the scent of pine and smoke mingling.
“I’m well,” she said, pushing her body forward. Only a little further—
As expected, they took the shortcut. Now that it was fully dark, that expanse of red bridge terrified her more than before. Being unable to see how high they were, the bright bridge suspended above pure darkness, made it so much worse. She clung to Haruki’s arm, squeezing her eyes shut.
When she tripped, she let out a scream—realizing too late she was safe in his arms.
“It’s alright,” he said, righting her before she could even open her eyes. “I’ve got you.”
When she did, the dark gardens and the abyss below seemed to swim around her.
