Page 42 of Tender Offer
Kojo looks between us. “You two know each other?”
How do I tell my best friend—one of my only friends—that I’ve been a complete bitch to Emma’s best friend because of years of hurt and jealousy? My behavior almost cost me my friendship with Tammi. I can’t lose Kojo.
My stomach drops at his heavy sigh. His shoulders fall, and a frown filters between the tense lines of his face.
“This was a bad idea. I should go,” I say, one step closer to the door. “We’ll work something else out. I-I have to go.”
I don’t wait around for the stain of Kojo’s disappointment to set. Outside, quick gasps of air silence the car horns until one speeds around me.
Shit.
I choke back the sob charging up my throat like bile and look both ways before running to the other side of the crosswalk.
Don’t cry in public.
My phone rings in my purse. “Hey.” I fish out my black shades to conceal my face and sniffle. “What’s up?”
Tammi is quiet. “Are you okay? I was finishing a school run and felt the urge to call you.”
My breath hitches through a forced laugh. “Your timing is impeccable.”
“What happened?”
“Oh, you know. Karma. Kojo invited me to brunch with one of his friends. When I got there, it was Emma, Justice’s best friend.” Tammi’s sigh matches mine. “I don’t want to be the reason his friendship or his business deal goes south.”
“Maddie.”
I sniffle again. “What if he doesn’t speak to me because of what I did?” The words catch on a knot in my throat.
“You didn’t do what you’re accusing yourself of doing.”
“But I wanted to! You stopped speaking to me because I wanted someone else’s husband. I don’t blame you; I deserve it. I-I just can’t shake—”
“The guilt?” Tammi’s voice is a whisper.
I clung to any justification for feeling the way I felt about Terrence. I was hurt, and I told myself there was no harm in flirting with him, regardless of his marital status. It was a game to me half the time, one that he didn’t notice. He was so caught up in Justice that he never looked my way.
That dismissal fueled my hatred. So did the men left in the dating pool. I’m a damn good catch, but I only attract moochers, cheaters, and deadbeats.
“Do you regret the harm you caused Justice?”
“You know I do, Tam,” I say.
“Forgive yourself for harboring bitterness for so long and move forward. When the time is right, try to make amends.”
I snort. “If only it were that simple.”
“Who says it can’t be? Look, did you show your ass and act all types of thirsty over a married man? Yes, you did. Grace is real, because I would’ve beat the dust off your—”
“Tammi!” I laugh, knowing she’s picturing someone in her congregation. “Breathe.”
Her smile reaches the phone. “My point is that you have grace and mercy, the grace to do better and the mercy that no one has snatched your edges. I love you, Maddie. You don’t have to be the villain in someone’s story in order to be loved. Let it come to you—unattached—in its own time. Actions have consequences, good and bad. Emma has every right to feel some kind of way about you. Let time do the healing.”
“What if she doesn’t forgive me? I don’t want to put Kojo in a situation where he has to choose between us.”
“Forgive yourself and do better. You and Kojo are thick as thieves. Give him time to process. Y’all will be okay.”
My feet are crying by the time I reach my rental car. I unlock the Lexus and rest my head against soft black leather.
