Page 25 of This Is How It Started
Josie stares at me as if I have two heads. “Right, because that certainly would’ve been the time to talk about her marital issues.”
Despite myself, I laugh. “I guess not.” I mop up the coffee that spilled on the table when I topped off my cup with too much cream. “I was under the impression that Eli was the perfect husband.” According to Ashley, he was a saint, taking over the midnight feedings of their twins, taking charge of their copious amounts of laundry, all while overseeing a Fortune 500 company.
“There is no perfect husband, Rach.”
I don’t have the heart to tell Josie she’s wrong. Of all our friends, she’s the only one who isn’t married or in a committed relationship.
“Apparently Eli has a porn problem.”
I rear back a little in surprise. “Eli? Seriously? He always seemed so...”
“Straitlaced,” Josie finishes. I was going to say prudish, but straitlaced is right on the money.
“It’s so bad he lost his job over it,” she continues. “His assistant saw it up on his screen and went to HR. Ashley says it wasn’t the first time.”
“Can’t he get help for it?”
“Maybe, but I don’t think that’s going to save their marriage. Ashley’s humiliated, and although Eli swears he never physically cheated on her, she feels betrayed, not to mention totally skeeved out.”
“I can see that. I’m sorry for Ash.”
“It would be great if you called her. She could use all of our support right now.” Josie looks at me pointedly. The fact that Ashley flew all the way from New York to attend Josh’s funeral is not lost on me.
“I will,” I say but secretly don’t know if I have the stamina to go through with it. I usually think of myself as a good friend but can’t seem to think about anyone else but myself these days.
As if Josie reads my mind, she reaches out and takes my hand. “Rachel, maybe it’s time to go back to work. Get out again. You need...something to occupy your time.” What she means is something to keep me from dwelling on the past.
On some level I know she’s right. It doesn’t help that in the apartment, all I see is Josh. I refuse to wash his pillowcase for fear that I’ll lose the scent of him. I can’t bear to remove his clothes from the closet we share. And two nights ago, I cried myself to sleep on the floor in front of his neatly organized vinyl records.
“I don’t know if I’m ready.” Selling real estate to happy couples right now sounds about as appealing as a mammogram.
“I know, but it’s time, Rach.”
I want to be angry with my best friend. She doesn’t get to decide when it’s time, only I do. Ultimately, though, there’s a part of me that knows hiding in my bed for days on end is unhealthy.
“I’ll try,” I say, hoping it’ll put an end to the conversation.
But Josie won’t let it go. “I think Campbell would like your help finding him and Jess a place.”
I flinch. Since when are Josie and Campbell buddies? “You’ve talked to Campbell?”
He’s called me more times than I can count since the funeral, leaving repeated messages. He even sent Uber Eats to the apartment with burritos from Arturo’s, which used to be our favorite.
I didn’t even have the good grace to thank him for it.
“He reached out.” Josie tries to sound nonchalant. “We’re worried about you, Rach.”
“I’m fine.”
Josie throws me a look likeyou’re not even close to fine.“Why don’t you call him? It’ll be a good way to ease back in. Campbell and Jessica won’t be demanding clients, and they’ll be so happy to have a friend, someone who truly has their best interest at heart, advocating for them.”
“I’ll call him.” It’s become my mantra along with “I promise.” One thing Josh’s death has taught me is to become a very adept liar.
Chapter 12
Harry Asia’s
Adam is holding watch today, sprawled out on my couch as if my entire apartment is his domain.
