Page 121 of Sanctuary of the Shadow
He looked uncertain. “You could actually forgive me for what I’ve done?”
“I already do. I just want to leave the Queens’ war where it belongs—in the past—and start fresh together. Darya gave us both a second chance to get things right, and we’d be fools not to take it.”
Still, he hesitated, searching her face. There was so much longing in his expression. He wanted to believe her, she knew, but couldn’t quite take that step yet.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Raith, but the way I see it, Furie wins if we let her actions divide us. All I want is the chance to make a future with you that doesn’t involve anyone else’s conflicts.”
“How can I know I won’t be forced to hurt you again?”
“Furie can’t control you with a body.”
“She took my body away last time.”
“And Darya gave you a new one. And maybe she’ll find a way to stop her, and things will change, but if not, we’ll get through it like we’re going to get through this. I’ll always come for you, no matter what. And I trust you. I know you wouldn’t have killed me that day in the forest, just like you didn’t kill me all those years ago.”
His expression was tortured. “I didn’t want to hurt you. Inside, I was screaming at myself to stop, but I couldn’t.”
“You did stop, remember? Plus, remember Darya’s powerful magic storm? If she stopped you like that once, she could stop you again. But she won’t have to. Once we leave, we never have to set foot in the Southern Territory again in our lives if you don’t want to.”
She waited for him to respond, wanting so badly for him to agree with her, to say he was ready to move forward, but he didn’t speak. His gaze transferred to the floor, and he seemed to go somewhere far away in his mind, his eyes growing distant.
“She called me Thirteen,” he finally said, and Harrow knew he was talking about Furie again. “That’s my real name. The name I had forgotten.”
She opened her mouth to refute him, to tell him his name wasn’t some hateful number and could be whatever he wanted, but he kept speaking.
“When we met, I didn’t remember. And when you asked me what my name was, I just picked the first thing I read off that sign.”
“I guessed that,” she said softly.
“I should have known right then.” His mouth twisted with a bitter smile. “I went around with the name ‘Raith,’ wondering who I was, when I’d labeled myself correctly from the beginning.”
“But you know now, and you also know it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter.”
“Okay, so it matters. You’re right. But it’s part of who you are, and that’s something to be proud of.” Harrow leaned forward to emphasize her point. “Look at what you’ve been through. Look at the person you are—this amazing, strong, caring man. What you are—a wraith—isn’t despite that, it’sbecauseof it. I love that about you. I love who you are, and I hope you can love yourself too.”
His gaze lifted back to hers, and he went silent again, but his eyes narrowed slightly as if he was considering her words. She hoped he was. She meant them down to her bones.
“I know my feelings for you don’t change anything,” she said, “but I—”
“They change everything.”
She nodded mutely.
“And knowing you love me…if you really do love me…” He glanced away. “Maybe I can forgive myself. Accept myself.” He shrugged lightly. “If you can accept me.”
“I do love you. And I do accept you. That’s what I’ve been saying all along. How many times do I need to tell you that before you believe it?”
The edge of his mouth curved. “Maybe a few more.”
She smiled back, though her sight blurred slightly with tears. “I’ll tell you as many times as it takes for it to sink in.”
They smiled at each other in silence for a moment, and Harrow could sense the darkness of the past finally starting to lift, the heavy storm clouds lightening to clear skies.
“Harrow.” Raith’s gaze shifted away again. “I’m sorry for what I did to you and your family and for the crimes I committed in the past. Will you forgive me?”
He was actually doing it—asking for her forgiveness like she’d suggested so they could move on together. Her heart swelled with happiness.
