Page 113 of The Reluctant Siren
“Hello, Harlow,” Niall said. “Are you all right? Are youstill at your mom’s?”
Just hearing his voice made the tears fall faster. “I’m sosorry I was cold to you.”
“Princess, you were processing. It’s all right. I love you.I’m waiting for you,” he assured her.
“Then I can come over? I want to talk.”
“You could go to my place but I kind of already broke intoyours. I wasn’t letting you sleep alone tonight,” he replied.
She hung up and thanked her friend and ran through the rainfor the lobby. Need ran through her. Need to see him, to assure herself he wasokay. He would tell her if Jensen was all right.
When the elevator opened on her floor, he was standingthere. He opened his arms.
And she was safe again.
* * * *
Jensen stood in the big lobby of the building he wasstaying in. The Club was part office building, part BDSM club, and part luxuryhotel/condos. It was absolutely unlike any place he’d ever been in.
This was Harlow’s world and yet he could still see herlaughing and having fun in his rundown childhood home. He could see her sittingby the river with her feet in the water, sipping an iced tea.
This might be her world, the one she grew up in, but shewasn’t some spoiled rotten princess who couldn’t appreciate anything without adesigner label. Harlow could be happy in any number of places.
He hoped she could be happy with Niall. He prayed for that.
It had been three days since he’d moved from his hospitalroom to the gorgeous one bedroom with a balcony and a glorious view of Dallas.It was stunning, but all he could do as he sat out there at night was thinkabout her.
Niall had called and promised she was doing well. Niall toldhim they were moving between his crappy loft and Harlow’s place while he wasgetting back into the groove of working. They were planning on going to TheHideout this weekend.
He wished them all the good things in the world.
Maybe one day she would be able to look at him again. Maybeone day they could be friends.
Fuck, he missed her. He missed her and missed Niall andmissed the him he might have been if he hadn’t walked out that door. If he’drealized what he wanted before he and Jack had gotten to Dallas.
If…
His brand-spanking-new therapist had told him to write allthe if onlys down so they could move on to actual real plans that would work toachieve what Jensen wanted.
But what he wanted was her and he didn’t…
Yep. There it was. That damn intrusive voice that told himhe was nothing. He was poor white trash and he wouldn’t come to anything. Hewas lucky the military had taken him because the only other place peoplethought he belonged was jail. He let his brother die.
Identify the voice. Listen to it for a moment if youfeel the need. And then reply.
Leo Meyer had him set up protocols for dealing withintrusive thoughts. It involved a lot of talking to himself. And meditation.Which he was weirdly good at. And yoga, which he was not good at.
Yet.
You try. You might fail sometimes, but you get up andyou keep moving. You might have come from poverty, but money doesn’t make aperson who they are. Choices do, and you’re going to make good ones.Hewent through the mental affirmations until he got to the one that hurt. It madehim ache, but Leo told him something he’d immediately recognized as truth. He’dtold him healing couldn’t occur until the pain was acknowledged and accepted.So Jensen stood there in the middle of the lush lobby fighting back tears as heforced himself to accept the heartbreak.I loved my brother. I did what Icould. I will miss him every single fucking day, but I did not kill him. I wasbusy ensuring he had a future. I made the right choices when it came to Tommyright up until I decided to devote my life to revenge, and that is over now andmy brother would be proud.
Take that, intrusive voice.
“Take this.” Chase Dawson was suddenly in front of himoffering him a water bottle. “You gotta stay hydrated. I know we’re old dudes,but Taggart is still nasty when it comes to checking a guy.”
He took a long breath and hoped he wasn’t tearing up becausehe didn’t want to break down in front of Harlow’s dad. He took the bottle.“Thanks. I should have brought my own, but I was in a hurry. I had a sessionwith Leo.”
“And now you can kick his ass at four on four,” Chase saidwith a nod. “You’re going to be our ringer, Jensen. You and the other one. Andbefore you tell me you don’t know how to play basketball, it doesn’t matter.Your knees don’t creak. Trust me, you got this. Everyone else is old. Bodycheck Taggart a couple of times and he’ll slow down. And, kid, it’s okay to getemotional. If you need to break down on the court, no one will think twice.Just try to do it after we’re up by ten or so. Then go to town.”
