Page 2 of Give Me a Reason

Their relationship had ended a decade ago. A chance meeting was not that big of a deal. Then why did she feel as though more hinged on this moment than she could imagine?

It took a while for Frederick’s gaze to focus on Anne, like he couldn’t understand what he was seeing. Their eyes met and fused across the classroom. Shock chipped away his smile, and something bleak and tortured flitted across his face.

A fierce jolt of relief shot through her. It hurt him to see her. Hefeltsomething for her. He hadn’t completely erased her from his heart.Dear God.Shame drowned her twisted relief. How could she be glad that a part of him still hurt over her? She didn’t want to be this selfish, greedy person.

Anne shifted her weight in her chair as though to stand. She didn’t know what she planned to do, but she couldn’t sit and watch him hurt. But she blinked and the moment was over. He’d already turned to Bethany with his charming grin back in place.

Had she imagined it all? Had she projected her own pain and regret from the last ten years onto him? Frederick was once her world, and losing him had altered her forever. He had brought out the best in her, and she lost that version of herself when she lost him.

But as much as she missed him—missedthem—breaking up with him had been the right thing to do. He had an amazing job—he was a fire captain, saving people’s lives—becauseshe didn’t let him leave everything behind for her. She wished she could’ve spared him the heartbreak, but she couldn’t regret ending things between them.

Frederick nodded at something Bethany said, his head bent solicitously toward her. Anne narrowed her eyes as indignation rose inside her. Even though she wasn’t still in love with him, she hadn’t forgotten him either. But it looked as though Frederick didn’t have the same trouble.

A decade ago, Auntie Sharon, Bethany’s mom, had convinced Anne that Frederick didn’t love her as much as she loved him. And in her darkest moments, Anne hated her a little, even though her aunt had been her anchor ever since her mom died seventeen years ago.

Had Auntie Sharon been right all along? Anne clenched her hands into fists on her lap as hot tears sprung to her eyes. Maybe shehadbeen a teenage infatuation for Frederick and their breakup had only been a minor setback in his otherwise thriving life.

But her flare of indignation sputtered out before it fully took form, because she didn’t really believe that. They’d both been very young, but their love had been real. So real that no other relationship had ever come close to it. At least for Anne.

What in the world was he doing here anyway? Was BethanydatingFrederick? Her stomach dipped, and a wave of dizziness made her grip the sides of her seat. He murmured something to her cousin, and she giggled behind her hand.

Anne bit her lip as something hot and ugly slithered through her. She couldn’t deny the jealousy clawing her insides raw. She knew Frederick wasn’t hers to be jealous over, but her teeth kept digging into her bottom lip until the tang of iron spread across her tongue.

“Waterfall,” Bethany called out, stepping away from Frederick to walk back to the mat. Then she fluttered her fingers from the top of her head, down to her waist. “Shh.”

“Shh,” the children repeated, wiggling their fingers like a waterfall.

“Let me introduce today’s morning guest, Captain Nam.” She sounded slightly breathless as she wrangled her students back to order. “He is a fire captain with the Culver City Fire Department. And he’s here to tell us about his amazing job and what firefighters do.”

Anne’s startled gaze shot to her cousin. She was supposed to be the morning guest. When their eyes met, Bethany ducked her head with a little cringe and held up a timid pointer finger in the universal sign forwait. Anne gave her a swift nod. She had no choice but to sit through the blow of seeing Frederick with nothing to distract her.

Even though she felt hot and cold all at once, her gaze kept drifting toward Frederick. He waited patiently until Bethany finished introducing him, his eyes never so much as flickering toward Anne, then went to stand in front of the children.

So he became a firefighter. He would’ve been amazing at whatever he chose to be, but being a firefighter—a captain—suited him. Rather, it would’ve suited the boy she’d once loved. For all she knew, he might be a different person altogether. She had no way of knowing. But did she want to find out? Would she ever get the chance?

“I hope I don’t put you to sleep,” he said with a sheepish grin,rubbing the back of his head. “Does anyone think firefighting is boring?”

“No,” the second graders said in unison before pandemonium broke loose.

“Firefighting is the coolest job ever.”

“I want to be a firefighter when I grow up.”

“Firefighters areheroes.”

“I want to drive a fire truck,” a little boy piped up, then proceeded to mimic a siren at the top of his lungs. He continued screeching happily as his classmates clapped their hands over their ears. But when Frederick stretched his fist out to him, the boy fell silent to reverently bump his own against it.

“You guys are firefighting fans?” Frederick’s eyes crinkled as his smile widened, and Anne couldn’t stop an answering smile from tugging at her lips. He knew exactly how the kids would respond. Now they were fidgeting with eagerness to hear him talk and to show him how much they loved firefighters. “Wow, how lucky am I?”

One child squirmed in her spot on the mat like she needed to use the restroom before her question tumbled out of her. “How come you’re not wearing your uniform?”

“Oops. Give me one second.” He rushed to the side table by the door and returned to his captive audience, pulling on his weathered firefighter helmet. “There.”

Anne’s heart lurched when she noticed the scorch marks on it. He’d been that close to fire. He could’ve been hurt. She closed her eyes against a wave of fear. What did she think he did? Rescue kittens all day? She exhaled through her nose and opened her eyes again.

“Before you ask why I’m only wearing this…” Frederick tapped a finger on his hat. “Did you know that a firefighter’s uniform weighs at least forty-five pounds? Uh-huh. It’s true. And with some basic gear, it can easily weigh seventy-five pounds. Iwanted to spend my energy speaking with you guys rather than being weighed down by my equipment. It would be like carrying one of you on my back for the entire talk.”

The children dissolved into giggles. The vibrant, joyous sound she had loved moments ago took on a dissonant edge as she struggled with her wildly flailing emotions. But Bethany took advantage of her students’ distraction and caught Anne’s eyes with an apologetic cringe, then pointed her chin toward the door in the front of class.

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