Page 104 of Lights, Camera, Love

He opens his arms and smirks with a ‘come to daddy’ sort of look. I can’t help but laugh as I give him a short hug, feeling the rock that’s been lodged behind my chest wall finally come loose.

‘Do you know where Evie is?’ I ask when we step apart. ‘Is she here?’

Austin’s lips quirk. ‘She’s here. Last I saw, she was out on the balcony with Kiara and Brie.’

A blast of nerves hits my stomach. ‘I think I might need some fresh air.’

He chuckles. ‘You sure do, my friend. Don’t wanna pass out from all the oxygen thieves.’ He nods up at the balcony doors. ‘Go. I’ll catch up with you another time. Give me a buzz before you head back to Melbourne.’

‘Will do. I’ll see ya later.’

‘Bye, Kye.’

Austin’s eyes slide over to Rafael, who’s leaning against a marble pillar, laughing with some of the dancers from Evie’s class. I grab my beer and make my way out onto the spacious balcony overlooking the ink-black water of the harbour. The bridge sparkles like a lit-up fan beyond the sandstone balustrade, and the distant chorus of car horns and bus brakes bleeds into the cool evening air.

I glance right and left as I edge past the smartly dressed guests standing around the balcony, chatting and laughing, but I can’t catch sight of her anywhere. Don’t tell me she’s already left. Maybe she got tired, or—

A warm hand catches the back of my arm through my pale blue shirt.

‘Groucho,’ Evie says as I turn around, her smile hitting me right in the chest.

‘Firefly.’ I reach for her because I can’t fucking help it, and she sighs against me as her arms slip around my trembling back. Pulling away quickly, both blushing, we find ourselves trapped in the busy thoroughfare of the doorway. I gesture to the edge of the balcony. ‘Want to come and check out the view?’

‘Forgotten what this city looks like already, have you?’ She winks and scoops a champagne flute off a passing server’s tray, and I trail after her to the balustrade.

We rest our forearms against the thick stone ledge and stare out at the enormous floating hotel docked at the cruise ship terminal beneath us.

‘So, how’ve you been?’ Evie asks.

‘I’ve been good. Pretty focused on work. The job has turned out to be a lot more than PR and marketing, which is a good thing. I’ve set up a bunch of new partnerships with government and community organisations, done lots of fundraising, commissioned research projects—things like that. It’s been a hectic year.’

‘Wow. That’s fantastic.’

‘And what about you?’ I brave a direct look at her. ‘You’re a movie star now. Any plans to move to Hollywood and give the big time a crack?’

She smiles and ducks her head. ‘No, I still don’t think I want to pursue acting. I just want to focus on danceand the studio. But I’ll be visiting the States as much as I can now that I have a little brother over there. He’s so cute.’

My smile widens. ‘Tell me about him.’

Evie begins gushing about her baby half-brother, Levi. She brings up a photo on her phone and I agree he’s a cute kid, even though I can barely see him beneath his oversized koala costume. Questions tear through me about her dad and her mum, but a glitzy party with thumping dance music doesn’t feel like the right place to ask them.

‘When do you go back to Melbourne?’ she says, sliding her phone back into her purse. ‘Got time for a … for a coffee or something? I feel like we have a lot to catch up on.’ She swallows roughly.

The jitters in my stomach race up my oesophagus.

Here we go.

My throat feels thick, but I just manage to push the words out. ‘I don’t think I’m going to go back to Melbourne.’

Evie freezes. ‘You’re not?’

‘Not if you don’t want me to.’

The game-changing words that I’ve been dying to say to her for a year push between us, hovering there.

Her skin whitens; her voice comes out faint. ‘What do you mean by that?’

A deep inhalation fills my lungs. ‘I’ve learned a lot in this past year or so, Evie,’ I begin throatily. ‘Not just from the therapist I’ve been seeing, but also from you.I’ve learned that … that I’m not a bad person just because my mother almost killed me. I’m not a bad person because my father didn’t want anything to do with me. I’m not a bad person because my shitty start to life made me run from a brother who I didn’t know how to appreciate. I’m not a bad person because I’ve made mistakes and hurt people I care about. For so long, I’ve been looking for other people’s approval to make up for the things I never had. But I get it now—what I needed was to learn how to love myself. And to believe that, even though I mess up sometimes, Idodeserve love, even when I feel like I don’t.’

---