Page 76 of Lights, Camera, Love

Sadie pushes up onto her paws and lazily pads over to the screen door, giving the whining puppies a sniff.

‘You really like this Evie woman, don’t you?’ Mike asks, eyeing me.

I lift a shoulder, feigning nonchalance, but I imagine my expression says it all.I have it so bad for her.

‘How does she feel about you?’ he asks. One of the puppies yaps loudly through the mesh, and the rest join in, creating an ear-piercing crescendo. Mike gets up and heads out there to settle them with a few pieces of kibble.

‘She says she likes me, too,’ I say when he sits back down, ‘Evie, I mean.’

His lips split into a smile. ‘I’m so happy to hear that. You truly deserve this, Kye.’

‘No, I don’t,’ I moan, catching my face in my hands. ‘Austin liked her first. You know how I said they pretended to date for the media? Well, that was Einstein’s idea’—I point at myself—‘and I guess it made Austin think something more might happen. He’s been wanting it to from the start. So now, not only am I breaking the bro code, but by hurting him like that I’m also doing the one thing I swore I would never do again. It doesn’t even matter that Evie’s not into him. He’s intoher,and that’s enough to make this uncomfortable as all hell.’

Mike leans back in his brown armchair and watches me.

When he says nothing, I blurt out, ‘What is it? What are you thinking? You’re thinking I’m an asshole, right?’

He swallows tightly. ‘I’m thinking that I don’t know how to say this without sounding abrupt.’

‘Just say it. No one’s as abrupt as me.’

He chuckles. ‘True,’ he concedes as he leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.

‘Kye, you’re emotionally dependent on Austin, and it needs to stop,’ he says. ‘In fact, I think it’s a codependent friendship for the both of you. All the signs are there—feeling guilty about having parts of your life that don’t involve him. Prioritising his wants and needsover yours. Sacrificingother relationshipsbecause of how he feels about them. Feeling obligated to solve all his problems—does any of this sound familiar?’

I nod as the accuracy of Mike’s words settles onto my chest like a deadweight.

‘You rely on Austin to pay your bills and validate you,’ he goes on in a delicate tone. ‘And even though I believe you’re a fantastic manager, I don’t think it’s a job you really want to do. I think you’re only working with Austin because of your dependence on him. But Kye, you arenotresponsible for Austin’s happiness. And you shouldn’t have to walk away from someone you care about because of the guilt you feel over one mistake that you made years ago. We all make mistakes; no one does everything right all of the time. But one mistake doesn’t define you,and your value does not depend on Austin’s opinion of you. Do you understand? You are not responsible for him. And you deserve to be happy just as much as he does.’

Mike shifts forward to give my knee a supportive tap. ‘Co-dependent relationships are a pretty common legacy of childhood trauma,’ he says gently. ‘When you were a little boy, Kye, you were starved of love. And once you’ve experienced that kind of loss, it’s hard not to be afraid of it happening again. Austin has been a support system in your life for so long that you feel like you have to do everything you can to keep him happy. To keep his friendship and his approval. But at what cost?’

This type of talk would ordinarily send me into shutdown mode. But today, for some reason, Mike’s words hit me like a gust of fresh air. Everything he’s saying makes sense.

‘What about Austin, then?’ I muse, setting my cheek in my palm. ‘If weareco-dependent, why do you think he’s dependent on me?’ Before Mike can answer, though, the words begin spilling out of me. ‘Maybe it’s because of how much pressure his parents have put on him. I remember that when he decided to become an actor rather than go to uni or join the church, they both freaked out. His dad thinks the entertainment industry is morally corrupt. He actually thinks that’s the reason his son got into drugs; he harps on about it any chance he gets.’

Mike reaches for a coaster and begins playing with the edge of it. ‘Yeah, that’s one reason,’ he murmurs. He looks as if he’s about to say more, but then closes his mouth, obviously thinking better of it.

‘What?’ I press. ‘What’s the other reason?’

He takes a deep breath, then pauses. ‘Kye, I think Austin might be in love with you.’

My jaw drops. ‘Wait … wait. What?What?’

He clasps his hands behind his neck and grimaces at himself. ‘Look, it’s not my place to say this. And I can’t be sure, but … honestly? He always wants to be close to you physically and emotionally … to know what you’re doing. He does everything in his power to keep you around. And he gets upset with you extremely easily, especially when you’re dating someone.’

All the words I’ve ever learned have been wiped from my vocabulary. I can’t speak.

Mike lifts off his armchair and steps over to me, clutching my shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, Kye. I didn’t mean to shock you, and like I said, I could be way off the mark. But I think you should consider asking Austinwhyhe’s so upset about you and Evie. A woman he’s never even properly dated.’

My head is like a swarming beehive, and my throat refuses to unlock. ‘Okay’ is all I can get out.

Needing a break from speaking—or eventhinking—about this, I pick up my lukewarm coffee and take a shaky sip, trying to wrestle my mind off the possibility of my best friend having the hots for me.Fuck.I’m a pretty difficult person to shock, but this is next level.

Mike’s eyes trail over my face. ‘Something else has been bothering you, though. For longer than this whole situation with Austin and Evie. What is it?’

Christ, this man should have his own self-help channel.

My chest expands with a long-suffering breath. ‘It’s Jace.’

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