Page 83 of Lights, Camera, Love

‘Jace!’ I repeat as the heavy door swings open.

I dart towards it, but the officer thrusts his hand out to stop me. Jace passes through the door without a backwards glance. It locks shut with a jarring clang.

That’s it?

I stare at the guard, open-mouthed, hoping he’ll say something like,Just wait here—he’s probably going to the bathroom.Instead, he tells me the visit is over and escorts me back out the way I came.

Acid burns the back of my tongue as I retrieve my stuff from the locker and head outside into the blinding sunlight. I’m still dumbstruck after pacing back down the hill, past the boom gate and over to Mike’s car. When I open the door, he turns down the radio and gives me a wide-eyed look.

‘What happened? You’re back so fast.’

‘Can we get out of here?’ I mutter.

‘Sure, but are you—’

‘Mike, can you please drive me the fuck out of here?’

With his lips pursed, he presses the ignition key. ‘Come on.’

I click on my seatbelt as he reverses out of the parking spot and turns onto the main road.

‘You want to talk about it?’ he asks.

I don’t say anything, I just rest my temple against the passenger window.

He tries again. ‘Did you see him at all, or did he not come out?’

‘I saw him.’ I squirm in my seat and tap the air-con button a few times to turn it up. ‘He came out, he hardly looked at me, and when I started talking, he told me not to waste my time and that if I came back, he’d deck me. He also called me a dickhead.’

‘Oh, Kye,’ Mike says. ‘I’m so sorry.’

I feel him glancing over as I stare out at the saplings they’ve planted along this new section of highway.

‘Difficult relationships between siblings can be especially emotional, but theycanbe repaired,’ he tries. ‘Okay? I’ve seen it. Many, many times. Today was a start, and that’s what matters. Jace agreed to the visit, which shows you that he wants to reconnect. Perhaps when he saw you, he found it more difficult than he expected.’

I don’t have an answer for any of that because other people’s stories aren’t my story. And Jace’s instant, visceral reaction to me made it pretty clear how he feels. I’m too late. I blew it, and he hates me.

Shame clamps around my neck as I accept that today was a monumental mistake. Before I came to visit Jace, I pictured him as a younger, tougher version ofme—hardly a walking smile, as Evie’s nickname for me can attest, but somewhat of a functioning person.

I didn’t imagine him looking like he runs a prison gang—looking like he’d happily use one of those concrete stools to smash my face in given the chance, without so much as raising his pulse. A tear wobbles in the corner of my eye, but I manage to blink it back.

Today wasn’t a start, it was a fucking end.

As I stare out the window, all I feel like doing is telling Mike to keep driving … away from Jace and the prison, away from Austin, as far from the shitshow that is my life as we can get. Right now, everything around me feels so toxic.

An idea slices through the noise in my head. Maybe there is one way to break free of all this and make the escape I’ve been silently yearning for. A chance to begin again.

‘Hey, Mike, you know that job you mentioned at Angel Care?’ I mumble. ‘The one in Melbourne? Have you found someone for it?’

He shoots me a sympathetic glance. ‘Not yet. It’s taken longer than we thought to find the right candidate. That said, it should be filled soon—we’ve shortlisted some strong applicants. But I still think you’d be ideal for it. In fact, I can almost guarantee that the job would be yours if you applied.’

I ask if he could forward me the details, and a flicker of hope lights in my chest. But it’s quickly extinguishedwhen I consider the crushing feeling of loss that would engulf me if I moved.

Evie doesn’t live in Melbourne.

‘So where to?’ Mike asks, interrupting my thoughts. We’re closing in on the turnoff to the coastline. ‘Back to Bondi like you planned? Or no?’

‘Yeah, just head there for now. Thanks.’

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