Page 42 of Husband Material
Everyone stared at me in aggrieved confusion.
“Then”—Alex looked genuinely wounded—“why did you ask me what to call it?”
“You know something?” I threw my hands in the air. “I have no idea.”
Before the situation could degenerate any further, I escaped into my office. Of course I sayescaped, but the moment I sat down, I saw that I had an unread email from Barbara Clench.
Dear Luc,
Unfortunately, your request contravenes CRAPP’s new policy regarding the photocopiers. In order to avoid a repeat of last month’s incident involving Alex, the feed tray, and the fire engine, it has been agreed by the directors that no changes may be made to the photocopiers under any circumstances without the approval of a qualified engineer. I see no reason to make an exception for you.
Kind regards,
Barbara
It had been a while since I’d been in a back-and-forth like this with Barbara, and in her defence, itwasgenerally a good idea to have a nobody-touch-the-machines policy when Alex was around. Although possibly “Alex, don’t touch the machines” would havegot more to the heart of the issue. But this was getting in the way of my ability to do my job.
Dear Barbara,
While I understand the value of this policy in broad terms, the photocopier is out of paper. If we need to call an engineer every time the copier runs out of paper, it might prove unnecessarily expensive.
Kind regards,
Luc
I didn’t expect that to be the end of it, and it wasn’t.
Dear Luc,
The current policies have been set by the directors, and I do not have the authority to alter them. The rules are clear: you are not to tamper with the photocopiers in any way.
Kind regards,
Barbara
Dear Barbara,
Then can you please call an engineer. The photocopier is out of paper.
Kind regards,
Luc
Dear Luc,
I have spoken to our reprographics supplier, and they have told me that their engineers can only be dispatched to deal with genuine malfunctions.
Kind regards,
Barbara
Dear Barbara,
Fantastic. Then can I please be permitted to restock the paper?
Kind regards,
Luc
