Page 51 of Glitterland
I squeezed back. “You don’t…you don’t mind?”
“Course not. Still love you, babes.”
“Pardon?” But he’d bounced away.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” said Niall dryly. “That’s just the way they talk around here. They love everything. Especially hair spray. Shall we get going?”
“What? You want to leave?”
“I thought you would.”
“But…” I cast a slightly hopeless glance in the direction Darian had gone.
Niall made an impatient sound. “This is fucking ridiculous. I don’t know what’s going on with you and Darian—”
“It’s the sex,” I drawled. “It’s fantastic.”
He continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “But you need to get over it, right now. Before someone gets hurt. Before you hurt yourself.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re ill, Ash. You’re not capable of living a normal life. You know it. I know it. But do you think it’s something Darian is going to understand or accept? You haven’t even told him you’re bipolar, for God’s sake.”
“It hasn’t been a problem with him,” I said faintly.
“Oh, come on, you’re giving him false expectations. Have you seen the way he looks at you? He’s going to want things from you that you just can’t give him. Like today. Like now. You’re lying to him and lying to yourself. You’re building a house of cards and it’s going to come crashing down. I can’t keep saving you.”
“I seem to be quite busy with all this lying and building you have me doing,” I snapped. “And, for the record, I’ve never wanted you to save me.”
“Without me you’d be dead or in an institution.”
I stood up, and then blurted out: “Well, maybe false expectations are better than no expectations.”
Niall shrugged. “Let’s not have this argument. Let’s go home.”
“Fuck you,” I said.
And ran after Darian.
He’d long since been swallowed by the crowd, so, after some aimless shoving, I made for Chloe’s booth. She was surrounded by people in various states of undress and looked about as stressed as someone with that much Botox could look, but she still had a smile for me.
“Darian…” I panted, “…he said you needed help.”
“Oh, honey, are you sure? He didn’t fink it would be your fing.”
“It’s not, but…I’ll…” I felt suddenly sick on the magnitude of it all. “…try. Though if you come near me with spray tan, I will end you.”
She giggled. “Ahwight, honey. You’re literally saving my life ’ere.” She kissed me chastely. She smelled sweet and sticky, and her lips tasted faintly of strawberries. In some strange way, it reminded me of Darian and gave me courage.
She dived into her rails of clothing and returned a few moments later with her arms full of dark fabric.
“Try this, honey.”
I clutched and looked round anxiously for somewhere to change that wasn’t in full view of Essex.
Chloe nudged me into a sheltered corner and pulled some of the racks in front of me. “There you go.” She smiled and left me to it.
Oh God. Oh God.
