Page 70 of Glitterland
Laughed and speculated behind my back.
“Actually,” I said hastily, “it probably wouldn’t work out. You know what weddings are like. This has been meticulously planned for the last twelve centuries. Wars have been fought. If I showed up with an unplanned guest, I think it might cause the end of the world.”
“It’ll be fine, babes. I bet you anyfing there’s like a dead uncle or somebody wifout their partner or summin.”
“I don’t think we should risk it.”
“Well, call and ask. And if they’re like no, I can send you off wif good foughts and good vibes and everyfing and go back home for a bit. Cos my nan probably finks you’ve got me tied up in the basement or summin.”
“Note to self: move house, get basement.”
He laughed. “You don’t have to tie me up, babes. I’m like a volunteer.”
“But if I had a basement, you’d look good tied up in it.”
“You say the sweetest fings. Now get on wif ringing your mate.”
“Uh…” I had been so distracted by the basement that I couldn’t think of a single plausible excuse for why I didn’t want him to come with me to the wedding. The truth—“I don’t want my friends to think less of me than they do already, which they inevitably would if they saw me with you”—would have done the trick, of course, but came with the unfortunate side effect that I probably wouldn’t be tying Darian to anything ever.
I hadn’t entirely been lying about the wedding being an event from hell, so calling Amy seemed like it might be a sensible gamble. She would probably tell me that it wasn’t possible to accommodate a random gentleman she’d never met before on the happiest day of her life, which would liberate me to go back to bed with the random gentleman in question.
Amy picked up after a couple of rings, greeting me with a slightly wary edge to her voice I’d never heard before. I put it down to general wedding-related stress.
“Um, yes, hi. Amy…I kind of wanted to…the thing is…”
My flow of awkward was interrupted by the buzz of voices over the line, and I lost track of my own stammering. Amy said something I couldn’t make out, and things quieted down a bit. Then she spoke into the phone again. “Sorry, what was that?”
I tried again. “I’m sort of…there’s a… I know it’s really short notice, but…”
There was another interruption. “Just a minute,” said Amy, and for a moment I thought she meant me, but then she was back. “What’s the matter, Ash?”
Fuck. Shit. Wank. “Oh, um. Nothing’s the matter. I just…there’s a guy… I know the answer is probably no, but can I bring him to—”
“God, yes.” She sounded so incredibly thrilled that it was only then that I realised she’d been expecting me to pull out. Abandon her on her wedding day. As I had wanted to do less than five minutes ago. And probably would have done, had it not been for Darian.
There was no denying it. No hiding it. I was a terrible, terrible person. Selfish. Cowardly. Worthless. My stomach churned, as though I were trying to flinch away from myself.
“Are you sure?” I said. “I mean, what about the seating plans? Won’t it throw everything off? I mean, it’s okay if—”
“Not at all. It’s absolutely no problem. The seating plan is already buggered beyond belief, so he can come to the dinner tonight as well. One of Max’s great-uncles passed away a couple of weeks ago. And Greg and Laura are getting divorced so they both decided not to come in case they met without a lawyer present. Although since Max knows about eighty lawyers, I don’t know what they were worried about.”
“Right,” I said dazedly.
“I can’t wait to meet your man. But now I have to go before this turns into a blood bath. See you later, and thank you, thank you, thank you, mwah, darling.”
“Right,” I said again. I looked into Darian’s wide, hopeful eyes. “You can come.”
He grinned. “We are gonna give it large, babes. Ohmigod, I need your help.” He bounced, naked, off the bed, and started scrabbling around on the floor, emerging a few seconds later like an excitable retriever. “Do you finktheseorthese?”
The choice in question seemed to be silver-sequined Ugg boots or silver-sequined Converses.
“I honestly have no mechanism for forming an opinion,” I said, after a moment.
“Fink it better be these.” He waved the Converses. “Sparkle but subtle.”
“I think subtle has long since left the building.”
There was nothing for it. I had to get dressed. Thankfully it wasn’t too much of a challenge, since Niall once unkindly suggested that I always looked like I was going to a wedding, anyway.
