Page 113 of Biggest Player
I get straight to the point. No time to waste.
“I have an emergency.”
“What kind of an emergency? There are six meals in the fridge.”
Yes, I saw those, but they will not help me in this case.
Broccoli chicken. Chicken and stuffing. Rice and chicken. Rice and vegetables and beer.
Basic, boring, lean meals.
“Can you come and make me lasagna?” I blurt out, unable to stop the panic from entering my voice.
“Lasagna?” Her voice raises an octave. “That’syour emergency? Oh my God, Dex, why can’t you just eat the meals I made?”
“Because I want lasagna, not another version of your ‘chicken surprise.’ Come on, Carrie, help a guy out.” I pause. “Please.”
She sighs heavily on the other end of the line, and I can practicallyhearher rolling her eyes. “Dex, you do realize that I have a life outside of your kitchen, right? I do not work on the weekends.”
She isn’t telling me anything I do not already know.
Still.
I pester.
“Yes, but is it as fulfilling as making me happy with a delicious, cheesy, gooey lasagna?” Another pause. “With loads of ricotta and meat?”
I hear her closing a door and wonder what room in her apartment she’s in. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m charming, you mean.”
“More like exasperating. You should have most of the ingredients for lasagna. All you have to do is grab a few more. I know for a fact you have mozzarella cheese. And canned sauce.”
I cannot feed Margot canned sauce, not after the bragging I did about the recipe being passed down from generation to generation.
“What ingredients?” I say cautiously, already having googled the ingredients, but part of me knows that if I sound like a complete idiotwho cannot be trusted ... maybe,just maybe, she’ll take pity on me and come to my rescue.
“Dex!” She sounds as frustrated as I’m becoming. “Stop being lazy and just order the damn noodles, sauce, cheese, and meat. It’s not hard.”
I pull open the fridge, staring into its interior. “I have an open jar of sauce and a block of cheese I think is still good.”
“Right.” She is not impressed.
“How old is this ground beef? Or is this tofu. It’s a mystery package.” I turn it over, this way and that, trying to read the label.
There’s a long pause. “Dex. Order a freaking lasagna from Capitano’s, this isn’t hard.”
“Will they deliver it in, like, a pan?”
“A pan? Lasagna isn’t served in a pan.”
“But I need it to look like I made it myself.”
Carrie groans. “I don’t evenwantto know why.”
She doesn’t want to know why, but I’m going to tell her anyway. “I have a date, and I told her I could cook.”
Carrie snorts.
