Page 146 of Biggest Player
Dex shifts uncomfortably on the bench, his usual confidence dampened by the heavy weight of this moment. “I know I messed up. But I’m here because you deserve an explanation.”
Obviously I do.
I raise an eyebrow, daring to glance at him. “An explanation? Or another excuse?”
“Shots fired.” He winces at my words, and for a brief second, I feel a pang of guilt.So brieflybecause I remember the sleepless night I had, the tossing and turning, how embarrassed I felt overhearing that phone call between him and his lame agent.
I steel myself, determined not to let him off the hook.
I am not here to make up with him; I’m here because he wants closure.
“I swear I’m not a piece of shit.” He leans forward, his eyes pleading with mine. “I swear I never meant to hurt you.”
I cross my arms, trying to keep my voice steady. Chin up. Strong and resilient. “Then why did you?”
He runs a hand through his tousled hair. “I’ve never dated anyone stable. When I heard you were a teacher, I didn’t know what to do with that information.”
Oh brother. “’Cause you’re so used to dating actresses and models? Boo-hoo, poor you.”
“Hey—I’m speaking my truth, could you dial down the sarcasm?”
Crap. He’s right. There’s no need for me to be a bitch. Not with my daughter on the swing set nearby, watching me like a hawk.
“Look, I know it sounds pathetic, but I’ve always been surrounded by people who thrive on chaos. Yes-men. People I pay, people who don’t care to get to know me. I went on Kissmet looking for something real but realized I couldn’t handle it.”
I raise an eyebrow. “That’s all fine and good, but how does that help me right now?”
He scrunches up his face, concentrating on his words. “It doesn’t. But it helpsmeunderstand why I allowed Trent to fuck with my head. I wasn’t prepared for something real, something stable. And I messed up because of it. I know it sounds ridiculous to say that the teacher thing and the single-mom thing scared me, but it’s true. I was intimidated by how grounded you are, how you have your life together.”
Teacher thing.
Single-mom thing.
Give me a break.Grow up.
I roll my eyes, but something in his tone makes me pause. “I get the fact that dating a single parent is not for everyone, but being intimidated because I seemed grounded? That’s a new one. You didn’t even know me. I could have been a monster.”
He nods, chuckling. “Yeah, I guess you could have been a monster. But it’s not an excuse. It’s just the truth.” He holds his arms out. “I mean, look at me. Do I look like I know how to process emotions? No.”
No, but he looks mouthwateringly good and makes me want to laugh.
What a big lovable dope.
Still. I cannot cave—he really screwed up big time.
“That argument isnothelping your case.”
From the corner of my eye, I watch Wyatt swinging higher and higher, her eyes darting between Dex and me. She knows he made me mad—doesn’t know why, only knows I got little sleep last night.
My daughter doesn’t miss a thing, so I owe it to her to handle this with a bit of grace and not lose my shit on this dude. Not here, anyway.
“Look, Dex,” I say, my voice softer now. “You’re a nice guy—I really,reallyliked you. I get that you have your issues. We all do. You met my ex, you know what a roller coaster that can be. None of us are perfect. But that’s not really a reason to use someone.” I let out a heavy breath. “Youusedme. Do you have any idea how that feels?”
Good people do bad things.
“I did not see it that way.” His voice is quiet, mingling with the breeze and the rustling of the trees and Wyatt’s occasional laughter.
I sigh, leaning back against the wooden picnic table. “For a few weeks we had a good thing. I was living in Delulu Land.”
