Page 5 of Biggest Player
Literal hives.
I scratch at my chest, itches occurring every so often, typically when I’m nervous or stressed out or have anxiety. The task of judging men solely based on photographs and brief biographies is daunting. And time consuming.
And more often than not? Fruitless.
Like finding a needle in a haystack.
I lean my hip against the kitchen counter, lifting the phone closer to my face to make it easier to see the photos clearly before swiping left on several more men.
Swipe left.
Swipe left.
“At the rate I’m going, I’m going to get carpal tunnel and need surgery on my thumb,” I complain, squinting at a grainy picture of a man named Jacob, scrolling through his pics and frowning. “Apparently fishing is the only hobby you enjoy.”
Not that I don’t, but ...
I cringe and swipe left.
Jacob meets the same fate as all the others, disappearing into the abyss.
All this unknown has my heart racing with excitement.
Apprehension.
Fear?
I glance at the time; it’s past six, and I have accomplished no tasks around the house.
“What the hell are you doing, Margot? Put the phone down and go be productive!”
My daughter, Wyatt, is with her grandparents but will be home soon enough.
It’s a school night, and when she arrives it will be bedtime for both of us. Wyatt is an early riser; her four alarm clocks, set each morning, are sure to have me moaning and groaning because I hear them go off from my bedroom, blaring loudly one by one.
Still, I don’t put my phone down.
I do not move from the counter.
With hesitant fingers, I go through the gallery on my cell, searching for a better image to upload as the main profile picture. It feels like I’ve done this one hundred times, but can you blame me for wanting to strike the right balance between approachable and confident?!
I want to look cute but not cutesy.
Sexy but nottoosexy.
I give up and go back to Kissmet, resume scrolling through the endless stream of profiles, each one blending into the next with their generic taglines, staged photos, and cookie-cutter bios.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are ...,” I whisper, not being creepy at all. “Where are all the decent guys hiding?”
You know,the ones who aren’t going to murder me in my sleep?
Dear Lord, please show me the guys who are looking for stability and long term and not just a casual fling.I’ve never had a one-night stand and do not plan on having one now, not with a young daughter as part of the equation.
Specifically, a ten-year-old daughter who encouraged me to download the app to put myself out there.She reminds me daily to enjoy the process of online dating and tochill out, bro.
Yeah. My child calls me bro, tells me to chill and take it easy.
Easy?
