Page 21 of A Doctor's Promise
“Have you got a moment?” he asked, tentatively.
Edie nodded and plonked herself heavily down on one of the easy chairs by the window. Finn sta in the other. Cliff was blooming in his new home on the table. His leaves looked vibrant and glossy, unlike Edie who looked a bit grey and pasty.
“Everything okay?” she asked him as he took up the chair opposite.
“Apart from the obvious you mean?” he tried to joke. “I need to talk to you about what Mary asked of us today.”
Edie sank a bit further into her chair as Finn told her what the hospital director had ordered.
“But that feels like deception,” she said. “I know the director cares, deep down, but he obviously has the hospital’s best interest at heart, not our patient’s. I get that, for him, it’s a business matter, but still…”
Her sentence went unfinished. Finn knew what Edie meant and he agreed.
“But how can we please both Mary and the director?” Finn asked, wishing that he could take control and give Edie an answer. “I don’t want her to walk away from this, this is her best chance, without the surgery she will definitely die.”
Saying the words made it feel a little more real for Finn. Not the trial, that was already starkly existent, but the possibility of success, the hope that he offered to the two remaining patients and their families. And the patients after them, if the trial was successfully extended. Then, maybe,hopefully,allpatients with cardiac tumours. He felt a swell of emotion in his chest and tried to swallow it down before it became too obvious.
Edie poured herself a glass of water and sipped slowly. Some colour returning to her cheeks with the hydration.
“Maybe we need to tell Mary the truth?”
“But then she’ll pull out of the trial.”
“Okay then, maybe we need to spend more time with Mary and Anna before Mary’s surgery. We can get to know them and then make an informed decision, based around facts as well as feelings,” Edie said finishing her water with gusto. “We owe them that, at least. We know we can’t just adopt Anna if the worst happens, but we can offer her help and friendship. We’ve got the second surgery next week, then Mary’s the week after. I think that gives us enough time for at least one outing. What do you think?”
Finn hesitated, he would like more than anything for an excuse to spend time with Edie, but he couldn’t get close to his patients, not like that. That would leave him open to all sorts of hurt. Edie’s eyes were expectant. He knew she wanted the best for Mary and for Anna, Finn had seen how well Edie had bonded with the small family unit already. But could he really do this?
“Okay,” he relented. “We spend one day with them this weekend. Maybe we can head to the beach or something? You decide and let me know. Until then, we make Mary no promises. What the director said is all very well, but I don’t believe in lying to my patients.”
Edie nodded.
“This weekend it is,” she said. “Thank you, Finn.”
“And maybe you can tell me your story this weekend too?” he said, as he stood up from the comfortable chair to head back to his own office. “So I can understand what is going on betweenus?”
Edie filled up her glass again and drank with a thirst she couldn’t comprehend.
Is this another pregnancy thing or am I coming down with something?
The hot flush that had gripped her when Finn had walked into her office could be another sign that she was being hit by a flu or a bug of some sort. By Edie knew the reality was that Finn had made her flush, and her baby was making her thirsty, no matter how hard she tried to believe otherwise.
She poured the rest of the water from the glass jug into Cliff’s plant pot and got up to go and refresh it in the staff kitchen. She was beginning to find her way about the sprawling hospital, its corridors becoming recognisable and feeling like home, despite the short amount of time Edie had been walking them.
The bright and airy staff kitchen was tucked away at the end of a corridor full of offices. The buzz and activity coming from them gave Edie the spurt of energy she so desperately needed. It was easy to feel positive in a positive environment. Even though negative thoughts kept filling her head.
How can we make a promise to Mary when I don’t even know if I can look after my own baby?
Finn is angry with me because I ran away.
I am angry with me because I ran away.
Edie was so busy chastising herself that she didn’t see the small red-headed woman screwing the top of her water bottle back on until it was too late.
“Oooph,” they both said as they collided together in the doorway of the kitchen.
Edie was mortified as the woman’s bottle escaped out of her hands and rolled down the corridor leaving a trail as it went.
“I’m so sorry,” she cried, stumbling after it and grabbing it before any more water spilled over the laminate floor. “Please let me get you some more.”
